...A traveller on a journey...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

This is my 2nd entry of the day. rajin betol nari eh..hehe. well i just need to vent a little! i don't know if i'm being over sensitive ke apa lah but lately whenever i get an email from this particular person, my mood just goes downhill after that. Feel angry with this person's insensitivity. suggesting me to do this and that lah. saying things which i find offensive at times but its said a in subtle way that in the end i thot i'm just over-reacting. i mean its my personal life rite. telling me abt your fren's experience and all that which has got nothing to do with me and i'm not interested at all to know anyway. i have my own life to take care of anyway. sure i don't mind being frens with anyone but at least show some sensitivity and respect to each other lah. what suits u may not suits me and vice versa. Cis!!! i wish i had the capability of not letting such things upsets me.. but.....arrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

6:01 PM

The weather is kinda gloomy this morning..but I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday. Alhamdulilah. Went for a complimentary 40mins detox session yesterday and wow i felt so much better after that lympathic drainage massage. But everything is so ex there lah. so i guess i'm lucky enuff to get a chance to try out the complimentary session.

The consultant there (very pretty malay lady) told me i need to take care of myself since i'm planning to conceive. She said perhaps i could do yoga if i'm stressed. hmm...let me see if i not malas and got the time and got the $$$ and got the mood and got the wat else ah *i'm just trying to find excuses* hehehe...maybe i'll do it..

9:45 AM

Monday, August 29, 2005

A zillion thanks to Kiccy for changing my blogskin for me and inserting the comment box :) Cantik kan this new skin...kononnyer the gal on the left tu is me lah..but then again its only konon2..

Well i don't have much happy things to blog about for now. But we got a nice tenant who reminded me a little of the late Mr Ram. so far we've never been close to our previous tenants. but this one is different. sometimes i forgot he's a tenant coz he's been cooking for us, talking to us like frens, even telling us we could use his laptop to surf the net if we want to, but of course we didn't altho i was rather tempted to take up the offer :p its like we have a fatherly figure in the house suddenly. he'd be going back to be wit his family in california soon in abt a mth or two i guess. and he said we could drop by his place should we happen to travel there. hai kena wait long2 lah kalo nak kumpul $$ to go there..hehehe.. coz he said the tix is $1.5k per person.. kalo 2 org dah $3k. wah piang! blom masok duit belanja lagi etc.

I dunno wat else to blog abt. too many things are rather too personal to be put down here. and i'm quite depressed also today. anyone who's bored out there, wanna have a cup of coffee and have some girl chat or something with this boring clumsy lady? *looks around pathetically*

5:23 PM

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Heleeeepppp!!! Heeeeeeellep!! I think i'm having a pimple breakout! :(( A look in the mirror shows i've got abt 5 whiteheads staring back at me just on my right chin alone! oh tidaaaaaakkkk. i'm so sad *nangis*

4:00 PM

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

As we rode along the highway this morning, hubby pointed to one block of flat that stood along the highway. i nodded and understood what he meant. We always passed by those block of flats every morning whenever hubby sends me to work. Only that this time, we felt a tinge of sadness looking at that particular block. It belonged to a dear colleague of mine who passed away on Sunday. A colleague whose been like an uncle/mentor to both hubby and me. Someone who went thru a lot of hassle for hubby and me during our darkest moments... he's definitely been more than a colleague to us. Went for his wake yesterday afternoon, and he looked so peaceful in his coffin. I'm going to miss asking him what he's cooking for dinner today and all his jokes, advices, nagging and soothing words.

Mr Ram, may your soul rest in peace. We will miss you.

9:40 AM

Friday, August 19, 2005

Long time no update blog again. Coz dunno wat to update about..hehe. Realised its like a "trend" to do online personality test and publish them on the blogs. So guess wat?? Yup i copycat and did the same..hehe.. can't remember which website i got this from. but i feel like a lone ranger after reading this description ok..and since when i didn't mind being alone for extended periods of time, mandai2 je dorg ni :p

"You come to grips more frequently and thoroughly with yourself and your environment than do most people. You detest superficiality; you'd rather be alone than have to suffer through small talk. But your relationships with your friends are very strong, which gives you the inner tranquility and harmony that you require. You do not mind being alone for extended periods of time; you rarely become bored."

Anyway finally manage to go for urut semalam. Kakak tu cakap i'm stressed as urat2 di bahagian tengkuk, bahu and kepala sumer tegang :( ask me to relax and take things easy. my tummy was also bloated. can hear the "tok tok" sound when she knocked on it. *sigh* but overall the massage was quite relaxing, i like the ambience in her bedroom with the dimly litted bedside lamp and the aromatherapy oil she used. especially when she massaged my jari jemari and toes...whoahhh...so syok!!! really need to do more of this to soothe the tense nerves..

5:53 PM

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Hubby did niteshift last nite, so as usual i was at mom's place. thot of getting an early nite's rest so by 10plus i was in bed. but i was wide awake. tak boleh tido pulak. started thinking abt hubby, all the things we've been going thru lately. Banyak dugaan tahun ni. afraid if i will have to face situations which i may not be strong enuff to cope with. hopefully not...anyway since i was still wide awake, decided to listen to the radio, was switching from one radio station to another. Then i realised RIA was having the sms dedication programme. So i send an sms dedication to hubby, just to let him know i'm still awake and thinking abt him etc. Didn't expect the sms to get read out but anyway i told hubby to tune in to RIA if he could coz i just sent him an sms dedication and it might just get read out. but too bad hubby was on the move (busy lah tu) and said he's unable to listen to the radio at the moment and will do so later. Abt 10mins later, was surprised when the deejay read out my sms dedication. I wish hubby would have heard it coz after reading it, the deejay gushed that was so sweet and whether i've just gotten married...quickly told hubby that the msg got read out and its a waste he had no access to the radio at that moment. he asked me wat was the msg like and i sms-ed him the dedication and he replied "eeeii bestnyer". Is that all u can say hubby? :P

i was also "unlucky" enuff to pass by an accident scene yesterday afternoon. i still wonder how did that van end up at the wide grass patch smack in the middle of the road and hit a tree so bad that the thick tree trunk actually pierced rite through into the middle of van and injured the driver's legs badly. i just hope the driver will be alrite...he's still able to talk and move his upper body when we saw him yesterday.

Back to last nite, while i was switching from one radio station to another, heard this song being played on Class 95. Been quite a while since i last heard this song...macam menusuk kalbu gitu, so i thot of sharing it here..

Have You Ever? - Brandy

Have you ever loved somebody so much, It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad, You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words, But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever,

Have you ever been in love, Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say, And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one,You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world'Cuz baby I can't sleep...

12:57 AM

Saturday, August 06, 2005

"Pada hari Sabtu tanggal 06 Agustus 2005 kita memasuki bulan Rajab.
Bulan Rajab adalah bulannya Allah. Mari kita simak ada apa di balik bulan Rajab itu. Diriwayatkan bahwa Rasulullah SAW telah bersabda, "Ketahuilah bahwa bulan Rajab itu adalah bulan ALLAH, maka: Barang siapa yang berpuasa satu hari dalam bulan ini dengan ikhlas,maka pasti ia mendapat keridhaan yang besar dari ALLAH SWT. Dan barang siapa berpuasa pada tgl 27 Rajab 1424/Isra Mi'raj (Kamis, 01 September 2005) akan mendapat pahala seperti 5 tahun berpuasa. Barang siapa yang berpuasa dua hari di bulan Rajab akan mendapat kemuliaan di sisi ALLAH SWT.

Barang siapa yang berpuasa tiga hari yaitu pada tgl 1, 2, dan 3 Rajab, 6,7,8 Agustus 2005) maka ALLAH akan memberikan pahala seperti 900 tahun berpuasa dan menyelamatkannya dari bahaya dunia, dan siksa akhirat. Barang siapa berpuasa lima hari dalam bulan ini, insyaallah permintaannya akan dikabulkan.

Barang siapa berpuasa tujuh hari dalam bulan ini, maka ditutupkan tujuh pintu neraka Jahanam dan barang siapa berpuasa delapan hari maka akan dibukakan delapan pintu syurga.

Barang siapa berpuasa lima belas hari dalam bulan ini, maka ALLAH akan mengampuni dosa-dosanya yang telah lalu dan menggantikan kesemua kejahatannya dengan kebaikan, dan barang siapa yang menambah (hari-hari puasa) maka ALLAH akan menambahkan pahalanya.

Sabda Rasulullah SAW lagi : Pada malam Mi'raj, saya melihat sebuah sungai yang airnya lebih manis dari madu, lebih sejuk dari air batu (es) dan lebih harum dari minyak wangi, lalu saya bert anya pada Jibril a.s.: "Wahai Jibril untuk siapakan sungai ini ?" Maka berkata Jibrilb a.s.: "Ya Muhammad sungai ini adalah untuk orang yang membaca salawat untuk engkau dibulan Rajab ini".

Dalam sebuah riwayat Tsauban bercerita : "Ketika kami berjalan bersama-sama Rasulullah SAW ke sebuah kubur, lalu Rasulullah berhenti dan beliau menangis dengan amat sedih, kemudian beliau berdoa kepada ALLAH SWT. Lalu saya bertanya kepada beliau:"Ya Rasulullah mengapakah engkau menangis?" Lalu beliau bersabda :"Wahai Tsauban, mereka itu sedang disiksa dalam kubur nya, dan saya berdoa kepada ALLAH, lalu ALLAH meringankan siksa atas mereka".

Sabda beliau lagi: "Wahai Tsauban, kalaulah sekiranya mereka ini mau berpuasa satu hari dan beribadah satu malam saja di bulan Rajab niscaya mereka tidak akan disiksa di dalam kubur."
Tsauban bertanya: "Ya Rasulullah,apakah hanya berpuasa satu hari dan beribadah satu malam dalam bulan Rajab sudah dapat mengelakkan dari siksa kubur?" Sabda beliau: "Wahai Tsauban, demi ALLAH Zat yang telah mengutus saya sebagai nabi, tiada seorang muslim lelaki dan perempuan yang berpuasa satu hari dan mengerjakan sholat malam sekali dalam bulan Rajab dengan niat karena ALLAH, kecuali ALLAH mencatatkan baginya seperti berpuasa satu tahun dan mengerjakan sholat malam satu tahun."

Sabda beliau lagi: "Sesungguhnya Rajab adalah bulan ALLAH, Sya'ban Adalah bulan aku dan bulan Ramadhan adalah bulan umatku". "Semua manusia akan berada dalam keadaan lapar pada hari kiamat, kecuali para nabi,keluarga nabi dan orang-orang yang berpuasa pada bulan Rajab,Sya'ban dan bulan Ramadhan. Maka sesungguhnya mereka kenyang, serta tidak akan merasa lapar dan haus bagi mereka."

(hidup ini hanya sekali, maka janganlah disia-siakan. Mari kita kembali kepada niat yang baik InsyaAlloh akan mendapatkan yang baik pula.....Amin)

3:31 AM

Friday, August 05, 2005

I thot of sharing this email below which i received from a well meaning colleague last week. It was sent to me and another colleague who's also married for quite a while with no children yet. However, the impression that she's been giving, is that she doesn't want children as that was her reply everytime she's asked abt it. I don't know if this is the truth or she could be feeling tired too having to answer this kinda questions endlessly? So could be she felt this is the "best" reply she could give to make them stop asking this kind of questions all the time. However, this other colleague of ours (who sent tis email) seems very worried that she might "influence" me into not having children. i thought that was really cute and sweet of him to actually trouble himself into writing such a long email to the both of us. When i first read it, i felt a little pressurised and angry, especially with the last paragraph of the email. But then again this comes from someone with a very good heart and well-liked by everyone, someone whom i know meant well and i couldn't blame him coz he doesn't know the problems we have and I can't go around telling everyone about these things too rite..hehe..So i took it in a positive way, afterall working with him for almost 5yrs, i know he's not the sort who would hurt others. I guess he was just being concerned for us. Lagipon mana nak cari kolig macam ni, who would bother to write such a long email to us despite his heavy workload. Here's his email to the both of us:

"Hi, my dear good colleagues and good friends

You may not want to say it openly, but I know in your heart of hearts you will be cursing me and wondering why I am so kah poh, always poking my nose into other people's personal life, prying into other people's private affairs. But I must tell you that whatever I have said, am still saying and will no doubt continue to say are all done out of a genuine desire on my part to share with you what I think is the ultimate joy of a fuller and more complete family life for a married couple - having children!

The joy that children bring with them is something which nothing else can substitute, even with all the money in the world. And you must do it while you still can. For ladies, the window of opportunity is small and gets narrower and narrower with age. Don't forget that time flies, and before you even know it, that opportunity may well be out of the door, not just the window, and for good. When the window of opportunity slams shut, that's it. No amount of strength will force it open ever again.

People nowadays worry over this and that, about the effects that child-bearing will have on their figure, about child-care arrangements, career prospects, children's education, etc. To me, these are all unnecessary worries. Do you honestly believe that our own mothers did not have to travel that same road of agony, pain, sacrifice and frustration that present-day mothers face, that they had had a much easier and less stressful time? In fact, what they had to go through are many fold worse, having to go through it not once but many times, depending on the number of children they had, which, in the majority of cases, were by the dozen, like my own mother's mother who had 15! I always believe that things have an amazing way of working themselves out. Solutions will somehow present themselves. Human ingenuity is such that it will take care of the quirks of life.

I hope this will convince you that you should go forth and multiply and not worry yourself unduly and unnecessarily. Don't let your hubby wait for too long. Otherwise, you may wake up one fine day to discover that he has already made off with someone else who is willing to bear him the children he wants. When that time comes, you will have endless worries and they will all be in vain because he will not want to hear of it from you anymore because there won't be a need to. Is this prospect not scary enough to nudge you into action? If this doesn't, I don't know what will.

May God bless you both and both your hubbies too!

With all best wishes
Regards
Busybody XXX!"

6:54 AM

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

*croaking* Selamat Hari Jadi! Selamat Hari Jadi, Selamat Hari Jadi Puan Ros!! Selamat Hari Jadi. *croaking ends* Dah macam citer krayon gitu. hehe. To a wonderful fren i've made, a very Happy Buffday and Happy Wedding Annibersary to you!! Semoga dipanjangkan umur, dimurah rezeki dan dikurniakan many2 zuriat :) Gonna miss chatting with u, tak sabau nak tunggu wednesday ni.

I had a terrible weekend. Feel so sad and hurt. Entah lah sampai bila nak macam ni. It can't go on like this all the time. I'm giving myself this whole week to think things thru and decide.

Was feeling bored yesterday, luckily Is was free. met up with her at tampines mall after maghrib. Was a short but fun meeting. But as soon as i got back to mom's place i had difficulty sleeping. was wide awake and only manage to doze at 3plus. now i'm so tired and sleepy.

2:29 AM