Daily Ramblings...

2009-09-07T14:20:00.000+08:00

its been so long since my last update. and so much has happened too since that last update. some days it doesn't bother me much, some days it does :-/ its a phase i hv to go thru and i really hope to overcome it totally with time...insya Allah.

i remember how i would end up spending lots of $$ sometimes when i was going thru a rather similar phase then..but i can't afford to be doing the same thing now...dun really have the mood to indulge in shopping these days either..but then again who knows if i really have the moolahs spilling, the mood might come. apa jeee...

then i found that i'm no longer addicted to bubble tea. have gone without it for couple of weeks now and on those occasional times i bought it, i couldn't really finish the drink. maybe its coz of my appetite which hasn't fully recovered?

i need all the positivities i can get...

2009-02-18T12:08:00.000+08:00

Hari ini genap 7 tahun melayari kehidupan sebagai suami isteri.. hope more to come...insya Allah.

Kemanisan dan kepahitan yg dilalui bersama, made the journey more worthwhile. Though it may hv gotten really tough at times, but looking at it all beyond the surface, the hidden blessings are plenty too..

To the husband: I am thankful to Him for you, tho we r just temporary loan to each other in this temporary world. And even tho I hardly say it out aloud, u know tat i luv u (in the best and worst times)...(phew, i realised as get older, it gets tougher to openly spill out isi hati cam ni..)

May Allah guide us both to the right path. Amin.

2009-01-17T18:11:00.001+08:00

Forgive me when i whine time and again.

Forgive me when i felt like i can't take it anymore.

Forgive me when i transgressed.

Forgive me when i am distracted by worldly tests

Forgive me when emotions overwhelmed me...

Forgive me for repeating the same mistakes again.

Forgive me for forgetting the intentions...

all i need is You...and nothing else to keep me going...

only You can ease the difficulties...only You can heal...

only You can make the impossible seems easy

only You can renew the worn out patience...

only You can strengthen the wobbly iman.

i don't want to go astray again...

Help me ya Allah...i know You are near...

nearer than i could imagine...

2009-01-05T12:49:00.000+08:00

2008 seems to whizz by rather fast....

It has been another year of learning journey... the good, the bad, the unbelievable, ...everything happened for a reason...sometimes we don't even know whats the reason behind it. only Allah is the All-knowing.

But one thing we all know is that, we are getting older =P hopefully wiser too...insya Allah, for the experiences in life brings valuable lessons to each one of us in its own unique ways.

This life could get unbearably tough if not for Allah's help and guidance. gotta hold on dearly onto Him in this journey and transition to the next real world, for this ain't the real world...

... "God made the illusion look real and the real an illusion"...

2008-12-30T12:11:00.002+08:00

loving this arabic nasheed...
========

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXSw3QV9ByE

Go thru the trials of life, the little of little trials
And prepare yourself for the long journey

In His obedience, you win both life on earth and the hereafter
And in His obedience, there is pride for the humiliated slave

Go thru the trials of life, the little of little trials
And prepare yourself for the long journey

And in His disobedience, there is shame and fire
And in such distance (from your Lord), you shall only find humiliation

Go thru the trials of life, the little of little trials
And prepare yourself for the long journey

So do not disobey your Lord, and obey Him, always
For you might be luckily accepted

Go thru the trials of life, the little of little trials
And prepare yourself for the long journey

And our Lord grants His blessings at all times
And offers salaam at sunset and sunrise
To the Messenger (Prophet Muhammad s.a.w) who brought in good tidings
The seal of the Prophets, the guide, the leader

2008-12-09T11:20:00.002+08:00

Welkam back to work.

Strangely i was quite looking forward to going back to work today..hehe. inilah kisah pelik tapi benar.

anyway, husband had to work on aidiladha. so not kewl. but wat to do, sudah tugas.
and it was beautiful moment going out for solat sunat aidiladha for the first time...together with Dad.
being there with the jemaah and reciting the takbir ...i wish i could freeze such moments..

2008-12-03T12:22:00.002+08:00

amidst the ???!!!???!!!??? there is ease. there is renewed strength.

thank YOU....

===================

"Having the Greatness of the Creator in your mind would make you realize the insignificance of the creatures in your view."

2008-12-02T19:05:00.004+08:00

i wasn't really able to focus with work with the heaviness that was weighing me down now and then. so i spend a good part of the time bloghopping. and i found that some of the things written in some of the blogs, like there are messages and reminders for me. it boosted my low spirit a little.

honestly i would like to face each difficulty and test like a true wanita solehah. i've always admire ladies who seem so calm and unaffected by whatever that happens to them or around them. but i'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo far away from that. one moment i'm ok, next moment i'm k.o. hahaha. how pathetic.

Till next time....

Salam maghrib.

2008-12-02T14:10:00.002+08:00

yesterday's course on job redesign was surprisingly quite enjoyable and rejuvenating. all about change. how change is inevitable, how we should be prepared for change, globalisation etc. i guess some parts of the training is applicable to our daily life too.

an interesting part of the training, we were given picture cards. there were pictures of cherries, lightning, key, star, cave, moon, leaf amongst many others. initially, i couldn't decide between the cave and the moon, but eventually chose the moon. Supposedly the card we chose were "who we were in our own eyes" and every picture card had some description behind it. when i flipped the moon card over, was quite taken aback the description stated:- Sensitive, Longing, Magnetic, Instinctive, Moody. *giggle*

anyhow i felt crappy this few days. but crappyness has a humbling effect. so i guess there is good in the bad.

till my next crappy entry, adious.

2008-11-26T15:00:00.010+08:00

i hope we could hv home-cooked meals more often, especially on weekdays. insya Allah. its a challenge but its not impossible. now that there's microwave oven at home again, and i was taught abt freezing cooked food for future use, it does make me feel more enthusiastic abt it. hehehe. we could also save some $$.

it would be happy news to the husband too. coz anything that is home cooked is good and filling to him (even if just fried eggs with nasi panas and kicap) *awww..*
======================

an inspirational poem that i could read over and over again.... could bring me to tears...

DOA SEORANG ISTERI

Ya Allah Ya Rahman Ya Rahim
Kau ampunilah dosa ku yg telah ku perbuat
Kau limpahkanlah aku dengan kesabaran yg tiada terbatas
Kau berikanlah aku kekuatan mental dan fisikal
Kau kurniakanlah aku dengan sifat keredhaan
Kau peliharalah lidahku dari kata-kata nista
Kau kuatkanlah semangatku menempuhi segala cabaranMu
Kau berikanlah aku sifat kasih sesama insan

Ya Allah
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah pilihan Mu diArash
Berilah aku kekuatan dan keyakinan untuk terus bersamanya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah suami yg akan membimbing tanganku dititianMu
Kurniakanlah aku sifat kasih dan redha atas segala perbuatannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah bidadara untuk ku di Jannah Mu
Limpahkanlah aku dengan sifat tunduk dan tawaduk akan segala perintahnya
Sekiranya suami ku ini adalah yang terbaik untukku di DuniaMu
Peliharalah tingkah laku serta kata-kataku dari menyakiti perasaannya
Sekiranya suami ku ini jodoh yang dirahmati oleh Mu
Berilah aku kesabaran untuk menghadapi segala kerenah dan ragamnya

Tetapi Ya Allah..

Sekiranya suami ku ini ditakdirkan bukan untuk diriku seorang
Kau tunjukkanlan aku jalan yg terbaik untuk aku harungi segala dugaan Mu

Sekiranya suami ku tergoda dengan keindahan dunia Mu..
Limpahkanlah aku kesabaran untuk terus membimbingnya..

Sekiranya suami ku tunduk terhadap nafsu yang melalaikan..
Kurniakanlah aku kekuatanMu untuk aku memperbetulkan keadaanya

Sekiranya suami ku menyintai kesesatan
Kau pandulah aku untuk menarik dirinya keluar dari terus terlena

Ya Allah..
Kau yang Maha Megetahui apa yang terbaik untukku
Kau juga yang Maha Mengampuni segala kesilapan dan ketelanjuranku
Sekiranya aku tersilap berbuat keputusan..
Bimbinglah aku ke jalan yang Engkau redhai
Sekiranya aku lalai dalam tanggungjawabku sebagai isteri..
Kau hukumlah aku didunia tetapi bukan diakhirat Mu
Sekiranya aku engkar dan derhaka
Berikanlah aku petunjuk kearah rahmat Mu

Ya Allah ...sesungguhnya.. aku lemah tanpa petunjukMu..
Aku buta tanpa bimbinganMu..
Aku cacat tanpa hidayahMu..
Aku hina tanpa RahmatMu..

Ya Allah
Kuatkan hati dan semangatku
Tabahkan aku menghadapi segala cubaanMu
Jadikanlah aku isteri yang disenangi suami
Bukakanlah hatiku untuk menghayati agamaMu
Bimbinglah aku menjadi isteri Soleha

Hanya padaMu Ya Allah ku pohon segala harapan
Kerana aku pasrah dengan dugaanMu
Kerana aku sedar hinanya aku
Kerana aku insan lemah yg kerap keliru
Kerana aku leka dengan keindahan duniamu
Kerana kurang kesabaran ku menghadapi cabaranMu
Kerana pendek akal ku mengharungi ujianMu

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku...
Aku hanya ingin menjadi isteri yang dirahmati
Isteri yang dikasihi
Isteri yang soleha
Isteri yang sentiasa dihati suami
Amin, amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin

2008-11-22T15:01:00.002+08:00

An extract from an email received...
=========================

The Prophet Muhammad (blessings and peace be upon him) said: " The Muslim is the person whose tongue and hand do not harm others. And the believer is he, whom others trust, about their blood and wealth."

He further said: "Verily ALLAH ordered me to keep relations with those that cut me off, to forgive the one who does injustice with me, and to give to those who withold from me. "

The Qur'an states: "Those who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, ALLAH loves the good-doers." [Ali 'Imran: 134]

These blessed people suck out malice from others with sincerity, forgiveness, and gentleness. They forget evil that was enacted upon them and preserve the memory of kindness received. Biting, harsh words may be aimed at them, but such words pass by their ears without entering and continue on their path without ever returning. They are in a state of calmness. People in general, are safe from suffering any harm at their hands.

========================

2008-11-17T10:30:00.001+08:00

i felt like on the verge of a burnout this morning. the throat feels perit, and instant feverishness that comes and goes since the last few days....

i wonder how am i going to achieve His redha when i'm not fully redha to all of His ketetapan???
haiz, dream on lah ju...hmm but i guess i will still dream on...at least is better than nothing.

wasted $$ on cab fares despite the tight budget coz i was feeling lembik and dun feel like being in super crowded trains. in the rush, i forgot to bring the Quran along for tonite's lesson. but instead my hand grabbed the small ruqyah booklet on the bedstand.

the amazing thing was as i sat in the cab feeling hopeless with myself, after finishing a packet of pokka green tea to sooth the throat, i manage to 'force' myself to take out the ruqyah booklet out of my handbag...and just as a i recited the Al-Fateha in my heart.... i felt a certain soothing coolness in the heart,...the 'burnout' feeling is now gone at the moment. Alhamdulillah.

at times i felt i don't deserve the kindness Allah showers on me...but i need Him..who else can i run to and who else understands me best except Him.

i dunno if i'll pull thru the tests of this world and die in His redha ...only Allah knows....and that is scary. super scary.

P.S. sidetrack - i read that the cleaner who was mauled to death by the tigers recently actually manage to utter the kalimah syahadah before his death.
============================

hv always loved this picture of Chichi. it was another side of her besides her usual mischevious self. the greatness of Allah's words, even an animal felt the effect. nowadays she loves to golek2 on the sejadah and refuse to budge off unless she is carried away. but most of the time she behaves herself and sits quietly on the dressingtable or the bed. hehehe

2008-11-14T16:03:00.002+08:00

hidup di dunia tiada sepi dari ujian.

ujian datang dalam pelbagai bentuk dan rupa.

ujian datang dan ujian pergi.

ujian itu tanda ingatan Allah kepada hambaNya :'(

walaupun kamu gagal dalam ujian itu, redha dan usah berputus harap pada Yang Satu.

for the One who allowed the 'fall' to happen is the only One who can save you.

afterall has He not saved you countless of times from destruction...from the clutches of syaitan..

and remember His Mercy overcomes His Wrath :'(

hold on tight to it...pada tali Allah.

2008-11-10T09:57:00.004+08:00

i can't agree more....

ada mulut Diaaaaammmmm....zip it.

ada mulut...drink bubble tea and chilll....

2008-11-10T09:39:00.003+08:00

The Struggle Within

She could feel it coming yet again
She wished she could run and hide
From the craziness of it all
But there is no escape except to ride it through

A sense of worthlessness and failure clouds her again
As she struggles to climb out from the traps of the devil
She reminds herself repeatedly, its just a matter of time
Before the dark clouds all goes away...

Patience and prayer as her pillar of strength
Surrendering to her Creator she must do
Hoping to endure His trials with an open heart
For attaining His pleasure is her ultimate goal

Cry and be sorry momentarily if she must
But trusting in Him, insya Allah she will not stop...
Resigned to her Master who knows whats best for her
And her heart starts to smile again...

18 July 2008

2008-11-05T18:34:00.003+08:00

Astagfirullah...

at times its just...................................

makes me all the more yearn to "detach" from this crazy world.

till next time...gOOd evening and gOOdnite.

2008-11-03T10:33:00.002+08:00

how beautiful....

"The contemplative believer who remembers God will begin to enjoy solitude and places of seclusion where voices and movements are hushed…
There he will find strength of heart and will, and he will no longer be worried or depressed…
Then he will begin to taste the sweetness of worship, of which he cannot have enough.
In it, he will find abundance of pleasure and comfort - more than what he used to find in diversion and play, or in the satisfaction of wordly desires…
When he experiences this state, many of the wordly concerns will disappear, as he is in a completely different world from the rest of humanity."

-Ibn Al Qayyim, Madaarij As_Salikeen

======================

a good du'a....

"O Allah!
I take refuge with you
from appearing to the public
to be better than I am
while my inner mind
is repulsive to You
for what it conceals,
preventing the people
from lamenting over me
for all that You know of me,
for I would be showing the people
a fine exterior
while informing You
of the evil of my actions
drawing near to mortals
while distancing myself
from Your favour."

- Ali bin Abi Talib

source: fafirrooelaallaah.wordpress.com

2008-09-29T16:37:00.000+08:00

Salam Syawal yg bakal tiba tidak lama lagi....

With this entry, i shall take a break from blogging for a while (insya Allah), ..though might still hop on fellow sisters' blogs for updates and beneficial articles, from time to time =)

2008-09-26T15:42:00.003+08:00

so much abt being puzzled on the road closure for F1, but when we heard the loud engines vroomming by...everyone got excited..including me. muehehehe.

so happily we took turns to go up the wooden staircase that leads to the library upstairs, where there's a big glass window there. and we watched in amusement the colourful mini cars that zooms by at high speed every few seconds apart. whoah...so thrilling to see. (sejak bila pulak saya pandai tengok car race ni??? oh no!!!) kakakah. haizz..apa nak dikato?

2008-09-25T15:10:00.002+08:00

it is believed that syaitans are chained during Ramadhan. however, was told that the jinns and its kuncus2 are still around...from past experiences and not-so-past experiences... agree fully to it..

but then, they too are just the 'means' or 'alat' for the test to take place..

all in all, good happenings or bad happenings, hope i'll not forget to be thankful, to turn to Him always...(sapa lagi yg boleh tolong kita??)

hope to remember always that this world is a trial ground...

and nothing is to be taken too badly or seriously.. (wah cakap senang eh?) hehehehe.
*note to self* - cakap serupa bikin tak??? :-/ adeihhhhh...
=================================

"Know that whatever happens to you was decreed for you, and whatever you have missed out was never meant for you."

2008-09-23T12:40:00.002+08:00

Time seems to fly....it feels like Ramadhan just only begin and now is coming to an end in just a week's time....

They left for umrah yesterday....gonna miss them....especially those 2 sisters.... I wonder if i will have the chance to be there some day too?

************************

I was relieved when the husband said he'll send me to work today. Coz i had unexplained lethargy/sleepiness after subuh. so the thot of climbing the overheard bridge and walking all the way to simei mrt station just seems like...urggghh...not to mention boarding the crowded trains. even after being dressed up for work, the sleepiness didn't go away and the instant dark eye rings beneath the eyes couldn't be concealed properly despite being plastered with layers of concealer. but perhaps i did successfully made the under-eye area look ter-kelabu asap maybe? hahaha (asal sendiri bahagia).

nevertheless the sleepiness suddenly gone when i saw the long massive jam as we approach nicoll highway. many roads were blocked and we had to go round and round a few roads before finally reaching our destination but had to stop some distance away too from the usual spot coz part of the roads there were blocked as well. All because of the F1 race thingie.

its strange sometimes the happenings of this world. roads that are being used daily by thousands of people for more important purpose gets blocked just for some car race? haizz..apa nak dikato??

2008-09-19T12:50:00.001+08:00

Hopes to be able to make good use of the remaining Ramadhan...

Allah has been Most Kind, Most Patient...that it brings me to shame.

===============================

"Sesungguhnya hati itu berkarat seperti karatnya besi. Sahabat2 bertanya bagaimana utk mensucikannya ya Rasulullah?

Baginda menjawab: Dengan membaca Al-Quran dan mengingati mati."

2008-09-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

my first online purchase of abaya... luv the matching scarf as well =) boleh simpan utk hari raya Alhamdulillah :-)

Loving it ^_^

2008-09-15T11:28:00.000+08:00

Dalam keasyikkan mengingati Mu, dunia menjadi tiada bererti..

Dalam keasyikan mengagungkan Mu, kerinduan sukar dibendung...

Jika ku punya pilihan, ingin ku kekal senantiasa dalam keadaan ini...

namun hambaMu tiada daya dan upaya, hanya mengikut arus ketetapanMu

Tiada persoalan, tiada hak membantah, kerana segalaNya milik mutlakMu

Tuhanku, Kau mengetahui segala rahsia hidupku

Namun diriku tidak Kau sisih...

Berulang kali Kau bertanya, 'nikmatKu yg mana satu yg kamu nafikan?'

Malunya aku...

Hebatnya Kau wahai Tuhanku..

Aku bersyukur menjadi hambaMu..

Aku bahagia Kau adalah Tuhanku...

2008-09-11T10:50:00.000+08:00

my urgent leave was cancelled since we need not be there today afterall, a place that wld rather not be stepping into, but our family may have to go there sooner or later. i think i'm still quite numb most of the time to all thats been happening lately. maybe its delayed reaction?? there is no shock either when i was informed what happened yesterday. except for the occasional tinge of sadness which will be quickly brushed off. i hope i'm not abnormal? anyway i'm quite scared when i start to cry hard over something.

But seeing Mummy cried so hard last nite made me ALMOST broke down too. being the eldest sibling, i have been reminded i need to be strong. insya Allah...Adik has been a strong girl too.. I do believe there is a hikmah behind all that has happen and still happening. The life of this world is but a test.

Meantime life still has to go on ....may we be amongst the guided ones.. Amin.
Innalillahi wainnailaihi roji'un

2008-09-03T18:20:00.005+08:00

Alhamdulillah...Even tho it might take time and might be a challenge a times ,... altho there might be k.o. periods again, moments where i search frantically for iman so, so afraid of losing precious iman, afraid if i might get carried away dgn ujian dunia yg fana, so afraid if i will drift far from Him....but somehow it does get better....and am truly grateful for that....

As for dad, slowly we are beginning to adapt to the changes in him.... nothing happens without Allah's permission.... we have to sabar and redha.... insya Allah...

We are into the 3rd day of the very blessed month of Ramadhan..i hope this year, i could get a feel of how its like to hv iftar at masjid one of these days =) insya Allah.

2008-08-27T14:05:00.002+08:00

Tests after tests...and not everything can be expressed out in a blog...But take solace that Allah tests not beyond what we can bear, and after each difficulty, there will be relief...

Anyway, its been more than a week now since dad's sudden change. yesterday Adik decided to go to the family doctor to seek advice. doctor said dad needs medical attention asap and he would need lifetime medication to keep his condition under control, otherwise he might soon reach a stage where he'll not be able to recognise his own family members. didn't know his condition was this serious... and since the medication would be very costly, doctor suggested that we bring him to the govt doctor and follow-up from there. And Mummy went to see the GP at cgh's a&e today coz she was not feeling well and got 2nd opinion abt dad's condition as well, he too emphasised that dad needs to be brought immediately to the hospital for blood tests and a brain scan...

the challenging part now is getting dad to see the doctor. yesterday husband tried to console him into seeing the doctor but he refused. he doesn't seem aware of the drastic changes happening to himself. We are still thinking of something to make him agree to see the doctor....insya Allah...if possible by tonite.

I'm feeling a little exhausted but otherwise fine...trying not to let the emotions get over me too... insya Allah..

********************************

"Iaitu orang-orang yang apabila ditimpa musibah mereka mengucapkan: 'sesungguhnya kami adalah milik Allah dan kepadaNya lah kami kembali. Mereka itulah yang mendapat keberkatan yang sempurna dan rahmat dari Tuhannya, dan mereka ialah orang-orang yang mendapat petunjuk." (Al-Baqarah: 156-157)

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu, padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi kamu menyukai sesuatu, padahal ianya amat buruk bagimu. Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Mengetahui terhadap sesuatu yang tidak kamu ketahui." (Al-Baqarah: 216)

"Hai orang orang yg beriman, mintalah pertolongan kepada Allah dengan sabar dan solat,sesunggguhnya Allah beserta orang orang yg sabar" (Al-Baqarah: 153)

2008-08-25T20:07:00.001+08:00

Patience oh patience....where art thou??? :-( don't run away from meeeeeeeee....

2008-08-22T11:40:00.002+08:00

Am i glad its already Friday. today is the 5th and last day of this week pejabat sunyi sepi semacam. next week insya Allah all staff will be back full force again. no more covering duties!! =D the senior manager said earlier.."good lah u are not there, a lot of wayang there..." hehehe... hmm, but then again kehidupan ini adalah sebuah 'wayang'??

Altho at first was bit kancheong being put in the opis having to cover duties which i've never done before....there's a blessing in disguise...and its not as bad as i imagined it to be...(still got time update blog somemore...nak complain hapa lagi??!) All thanks to Him mempermudahkan segalanya....

For now, i guess i'll just enjoy the peace and quiet here whilst stocks last...

P.s. dalam kesepian dipejabat, kedengaran pula seorg teman sepejabat sedang memutarkan lagu "when i fall in love, it will be forever..."....kakakah. sungguh romantica d amour...

2008-08-20T14:38:00.006+08:00

Long time no write bout Chapee and Chichi...

gambar ini telah dipetik malam semalam... dalam banyak2 tempat yg ada, chapee gemar duduk beristerehat di atas handbeg kerja ku ini, sehingga ia semakin penyek dan out of shape..mungkinkah ada bau ashem ku terlekat di beg tersebut? muehehehe

Zzzzzzz...sweet dreams....

2008-08-20T14:05:00.003+08:00

Let me cling to You ya Khaliq
Every day and nite
Cocooned in Your love and care
Immersed in Your Greatness
till nothing else matters

Let me hide in You oh Master
From worldly traps that drifts me away from You
From all that comes in my way
When i want to get closer to You

Let my fear be only towards You and just You
Nothing could be that bad when i have You
Nothing should be that scary
When i have the All-Powerful to flee unto
Afterall You test me not beyond what i can bear

Let this heart be tied to You oh Master
Purify me ya Tawwab..
Let me surrender fully to You
Till then patiently wait I will
for the beautiful moment to arrive
Insya Allah...

2008-08-11T10:23:00.000+08:00

I'm blue...

I'm blue dabedi dabedai dabedi dabedai dabedi dabedai...

is been a Mad Season?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1fZk4iqIcw

- end of nonsence post -

2008-08-10T21:19:00.000+08:00

If i have to give it up, let it be just for Your sake. If i have to stay and endure, let it be just for Your sake too..Let it not be other than this reason and purpose.

Self reflection i did. the flaws and weaknesses were aplenty... wanted to give my best but sometimes it just turns out otherwise...

Forgive me ya Allah...i'm afraid of wat awaits me...i'm afraid of incurring Your wrath...very afraid..

Forgive me...Forgive us...let this heart be able to forgive wholeheartedly too... just for You..

2008-08-08T11:12:00.000+08:00

I sat there admiring the beautiful night sky...

Its beauty enhanced by the blanket of twinkling stars

You are in my thoughts...

My heart whispered something to You...

Felt the soft cool breeze against my face

I smile like a young girl in love...

Then my view gets a little blurry again

As the heart is moved by Your Greatness and Love...

How i love those moments...

Even more if this heart could be tied to You 24/7

So that a truly repentant slave i could be...

Strong enough in conquering calls of transgression...

Making good use of the time left in striving to seek Your Pleasure...

2008-08-06T11:24:00.000+08:00

~ Let me hide in You, from all that distracts me from You...

2008-08-05T13:01:00.000+08:00

I was astonished when i found out that the title to one of the 'poems' i wrote some time back is the same as the title of one of Metallica's song. Lol. one of my frens who was online on msn was playing her metallica soundtracks earlier, so thats how i found out. heehe...

Sesungguhnya i have forgotten the existence of this particular song. its been few years now since i stop listening to them. depressing rock /angst-ridden songs was like a companion during late teens till about mid twenties. not sure why i was inclined towards those type of songs then when most of my schoolmates then were into boybands and love songs. those times, its like i got a high listening to such songs, especially when i was feeling down... ntah apa2 saja..hehehe ..can't believe it myself also at times...

only when the realisation came that the soul needed plenty of recovery (pemulihan)...i had to filter what goes into the ears. i remember an islamic quote (by Imam Hassan Al-Banna if i'm not wrong) that says the eyes and ears are 2 open doors, whatever that goes into it reaches the heart...

i guess once in a while tu boleh dengar lah tapi tak boleh selalu sangat macam dedulu...

2008-08-04T11:04:00.000+08:00

After the entry i posted on Friday, came beautiful Saturday and even more super duper beautiful Sunday... :=))

now i can't even recall clearly those challenging days i had lately....except vague recollection of it ...good la if its been flushed out of my system ...hehe

2008-08-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

phew. what a day its been..this past month or so has been challenging in many ways.... and just when i fear that i might have 'jatuh tersungkur' for good... feeling resigned, helpless.... i feel all light within again. redha. felt like a big heavy load lifted off me chest...and its like a cycle??

He is taking care of me...i know He is. tho i'm quite unhappy with myself lately... but i understand i'm also going along with what has been written for me to do...i can't escape...

Sabar...redha...

2008-07-30T14:15:00.001+08:00

Mengaji lessons have been brought foward to Wed nites again instead of Saturday mornings. After having a feel of it held on the 2 different days, i guess i still prefer Wed nites, so i was quite happy when Ustazah suggested that ngaji gonna be held on either monday or wed nites again. Saturday mornings seems a bit rushing, altho the advantage is after ngaji, can do marketing at sheng siong which is just opposite ustazah's house. hehe. but never mind lah, thats not important...

Finally completed Qiraati book 3 last Saturday after 7 long months. Insya Allah, tonite will be the second ngaji lesson with the Quran. And i'm feeling excited abt it. I hope Allah kekalkan this feeling of enthusiasm within to keep learning the Quran. Amin. Altho I wonder how many years is gonna take before i can khatam Quran ...hehehe, tapi lambat atau cepat, tak apa lah, yg penting dapat membacanya dgn baik dan istiqomah, menghayati maknanya and put into practice to our daily lives as much as possible. insya Allah.

2008-07-30T11:59:00.001+08:00

Miracles of Honey

"And thy Lord inspired the bee: build homes in hills and trees, and in (the hives) they build for you. Then, eat of all fruits, and follow the ways of your Lord laid down (for you). From their bellies comes a drink of varying colors, wherein there is healing for mankind.There is certainly a sign in that for people who reflect." - (An-Nahl: 68-69)

The Prophet (PBUH) said: 'Honey is a remedy for every illness and the Quran is a remedy for all illness of the mind, therefore I recommend to you both remedies, the Quran and honey.' - (Bukhari)
=================================

Easily digested: Because sugar molecules in honey can convert into other sugars (e.g. fructose to glucose), honey is easily digested by the most sensitive stomachs, despite its high acid content. It helps kidneys and intestines to function better.

Rapidly diffuses through the blood: its a quick energy source. When accompanied by mild water, honey diffuses into the bloodstream in seven minutes. Its free sugar molecules make the brain function better since the brain is the largest consumer of sugar. Honey is a natural composition of sugars like glucose and fructose. According to recent research, this unique mixture of sugars is the most effective means to remove fatigue and increase athletic performance.

Supports blood formation: Honey provides an important part of the energy needed by the body for blood formation. In addition, it helps in cleansing the blood. It has some positive effects in regulating and facilitating blood circulation. It also functions as a protection against capillary problems and arteriosclerosis.

Vitamin and mineral depot: Honey is composed of sugars like glucose and fructose and minerals like magnesium, potassium, calcium, sodium chlorine, sulphur, iron and phosphate. It contains vitamins B1, B2, C, B6, B5 and B3 all of which change according to the qualities of the nectar and pollen. Besides the above, copper, iodine, and zinc are also present, albeit in small quantities.

Antibacterial and antifungal properties: These properties of honey are well established. Undiluted honey inhibits the growth of bacteria such as Staphylococcus aureus, certain gut pathogens and fungi such as Candida albicans. At a concentration of 30-50%, honey has been shown to be superior to certain conventional antibiotics in treating urinary tract infections. The exact mechanism of the anti-microbial effect of honey remains obscure. Low pH, osmotic disruption of pathogens and the presence of bactericidal substances, collectively called inhibine may all play a part.

Anti-diarrhoeal properties: At a concentration of 40%, honey has a bactericidal effect on various gut bacteria known to cause diarrhoea and dysentery such as Salmonella, Shigella, enteropathogenic E. coli and Vibrio cholera. In one study, honey given with oral rehydration fluid was shown to reduce the duration of bacterial diarrhoea in infants and children.

Wound-healing and anti-inflammatory properties: Honey is of value in treating burns, infected surgical wounds and decubitus ulcers. Honey is very viscous, enabling it to absorb water from surrounding inflamed tissue. For example, a study in West Africa showed that skin grafting, surgical debridement and even amputation were avoided when local application of honey to wound promoted healing, whereas conventional treatment failed. In another study, wound healing was accelerated by application of honey in women who had undergone radical vulvectomy for vulval cancer. Also, it has been suggested that honey may be useful in the treatment of chronic, foul smelling ulcers seen in leprosy.

Anti-tussive and expectorant properties: These anti-cough properties of honey are related to its capacity to dilute bronchial secretions and improve the function of the bronchial epithelium.

Antioxidant: Everyone who wants to live a healthier life should consume antioxidants. Those are the components in cells that get rid of harmful byproducts of normal metabolic functions. These elements inhibit destructive chemical reactions that cause spoilage of food and many chronic illnesses. Researchers believe food products rich in antioxidants may prevent heart problems and cancer. Strong antioxidants are present in honey content: Pinocembrin, pinobaxin, chrisin and galagin. Pinocembrin is an antioxidant that merely exists in the honey.

2008-07-28T10:14:00.000+08:00

-- As i was walking to work this morning, what we learned some weeks back came to mind - SSM (sabar sampai mati), or the english version of it - PUD (patience until die). hehe. perhaps is a reminder for me.

-- during kuliah muslimah last week, one of the few topics ustazah touched on was on the benefits of honey, and we're taught a little experiment to check on the pureness of honey. put a little honey on a plate, put some water on it and shake the plate ( in left right/up down motion). if the honey is pure, the honey will form into a shape that looks something like 'sarang lebah'. the purer it is, the longer the shape will last... i tried it yesterday and it works!!! was amused when i saw the shape of the sarang lebah started to form, altho the shape is not as perfect as the real sarang lebah, but it left me in awe for a while. SubhanAllah.

And the best time to take honey is in the morning 1 hour before breakfast. this timing works best for me too, coz many times when i attempted taking honey at nite after having dinner or after breakfast when the tummy is filled, will end up vomitting it back out in less than 5 minutes. strange fenomena?

-- Penyakit dan musibah ada lah ketetapan Allah. Untungnya org mukmin, semakin berat/banyak ujian yg menimpa, semakin mustajab doanya.

2008-07-15T11:29:00.001+08:00

Soothing.

2008-07-12T13:04:00.003+08:00

Penghijrahan...

ku cari sinar cahaya
menyuluh kegelapan yang menyelubungi diri
mengubati jiwa yang tenat..

ku cari dan terus ku cari..
tapi tiada ku jumpa..
ku cuba tapi tiada berdaya

tanpa disedari sinar ku harapkan
sudah semakin hampir..
walau zahirnya seperti semakin jauh

akhirnya saat itu tiba jua
meninggalkan kesan yang mendalam
pada diriku...

dengan itu bermula penghijrahan hidupku
beralih arah dari yang fana kepada yang kekal abadi
beralih pergantungan dari makhluk kepada Pencipta

bahagia ku rasakan berpaut pada Tuhanku
ku bersyukur dengan nikmat ini..

2008-07-10T19:05:00.000+08:00

Weekend is approaching....time to rejuvenate and recharge soon..insya Allah...

2008-07-03T11:35:00.001+08:00

On being Thankful

It is said that once Hasan Al-Basri had a very sharp headache, so he tied a bandana over his head. Rabia Al-Adawiyyah saw him and inquired the cause of the bandana, to which Hasan Al-Basri told her of the headache.

She asked him if this headache is something he gets often. He replied that Allah has blessed him with good health and it is after many years that he had a headache this severe.

“Is it not strange that Allah gave you good health for years, and then when He afflicts you with some pain, you wear a banner on your head to advertise your pain?”

Hasan Al-Basri said that after that day, he never ever complained of any hardship he faced.

==========================================

I seek forgiveness from Allah for the lack of my sincerity when I say I seek the forgiveness of Allah – Rabia Al-Adawiyyah

==========================================

Ouch!!! :-/

2008-07-01T10:11:00.001+08:00

Aku tidak mengerti

Namun aku ingin redha

Aku tidak mengerti

Tapi aku ingin sabar

Dengan kesabaran yang indah

Bantulah aku...

Bersyukur diwaktu senang dan juga ketika diuji

Kerana setiap ketetapanMu tidak dijadikan dengan sia-sia

Sama ada ku ketahui hikmahnya atau tidak

Bantulah hambaMu yang lemah ini

Kerana Engkau sebaik-baik Penolong...

Jauhi lah aku dari kemurkaanMu..

2008-06-30T16:35:00.000+08:00

Some days i'm bursting with energy, feeling positive and motivated even tho with little sleep the nite before..i love those days =)

and some days, the mendak mood strikes, feel tired, sleepy, even tho with sufficient hours of sleep the nite before...

some things in life has no logical explanation to it..altho in this case, i guess it has got to do with the ups and downs of Iman?

2008-06-28T18:15:00.004+08:00

Sejenak ku menoleh kebelakang
Merenung masa lalu yang penuh kesuraman
Tatkala aku diselamatkanMu
Dari kebinasaan yang sedang ku hampiri

SubhanAllah, tidak dapat ku ungkapkan
Dengan tepat apa yg ku rasakan ketika itu
Hanya air mata pilu membasahi diri...

Ku diberi kesedaran apa yg telah terjadi itu
Adalah atas kehendakMu jua
Tidak perlu ku meratapi yg telah berlaku

Dan dengan kuasaMu yang pahit menjadi nikmat
Hatiku terhibur kembali kerana aku sedar
Aku sebenarnya tidak sendirian...
Ditemani Raja segala Raja...

Baru lah ku tahu semua itu
Adalah panggilan kasih dariMu
Agar ku kembali kepangkuanMu

2008-06-27T18:20:00.000+08:00

Ownself talk, ownself understand :-/

I really dun noe what to say. Just feel resigned and maybe numb already? Nak marah pun macam tak ter-marah…argghh... kerana disebaliknya pun dzat. …the beautiful thing since learning ma’rifatullah… Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah, Its helps when this kinda moments arises again.

Feeling a little “off” at the moment though I guess it won’t be for long..hehe..insya Allah…Amin..

He is always near, lebih dekat dari urat nyawa hamba2Nya...cuma antara kita sedar atau tidak :( hmm..but yet there are some still take bus/mrt/aeroplane all the way so far to seek tok bomoh's help for their problems :-/

Lahaula wala quwatta ila billa hil aliyil azim...

“Wahai Tuhan kami. Janganlah Engkau memesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami dan kurniakanlah kepada kami rahmat dari sisiMu, kerana Engkaulah Maha Pemberi.” – (Ali-Imran: 8)

2008-06-25T12:55:00.001+08:00

Time check 12.55...perut ku merasa sedikit sebu, tak sempat beli sarapan pagi tadi. sampai keje buat secawan kopi 3-in-1...but the tummy continue to growl. i just swallowed a tablespoon of honey to calm the tummy. Lunch menu will be KFC zinger meal :D one of my young sweet boss pop over my cubicle this morning and ask "u want KFC?"...rezeki jgn ditolak. lol...she had the coupon so it was at a discounted rate. Alhamdulillah.

=====================================

Those reminders and motivations keep coming. i know its NOT really them conveying it. They r just the couriers, the means to get the message delivered.

=====================================

and a little something to share....

"i have good news to share with u" she said as she held my arm. "i mimpi u pregnant lah"..later on as we talked abt other matters, the conversation went back to the baby subject again... "1 boy 1 girl" she said. I laughed. lol. "cepat lah Amin kan.ketawa pulak" she said. "err..ok..insya Allah Amin" i replied...

O Allah, only You know whats best for me...

2008-06-24T11:10:00.001+08:00

Nur Tuhan - Munif Ahmad

Tak terucap kepiluan ini
Titik hitam yang menghijab hati
Hitung dosa saat pergi takkan kembali
Sisa umur tidak undur lagi

Perjalanan dalam kehidupan
Bukan jauh ketentuan datang
Mungkin esok takdir takkan dapat dihalang
Untung nasib di genggaman Tuhan

c/o
Isi alam puspa warna
Bukti Tuhan Maha Kuasa
Ke manakah arah tuju
Hukum Tuhan pasti berlaku

Bukan tempat lalai leka
Di dunia bakti ditempa
Tanam budi luhur murni
Di akhirat tempat abadi

Himpun doa dipohon harapan
Pinta Rahmat petunjuk pimpinan
Ikhtiar usaha moga dengan Nur dari Tuhan
Suluh terang jalan kebahagiaan

2008-06-19T17:59:00.000+08:00

A year older and wiser too...insya Allah. =) The husband turns 32 today. Semoga diberkati sisa usiamu, dikurniakan keteguhan iman dan takwa. Amin.

We had late breakfast cum lunch at Hajah Maimunah, my first time there, food was yummy. and a walk around Bussorah St before doing zuhur at Masjid Sultan. Continued walk2 again before heading to "afganistan" and end up buying bubble tea there.*tak abis2 ye*

With him on shiftwork, and me long hours at work, gi blajar etc, its blissful to be able to go out together like this even tho its a simple outing...

Thank YOU for allowing it to happen. Alhamdullilah...

2008-06-18T16:25:00.000+08:00

It was raining heavily with thunders earlier...

==================================

2 years and 2 months have passed... But i still think of that moment from time to time...

I miss that feeling of 'detachment'...

2008-06-17T11:22:00.001+08:00

Aku malu….dia selalu begitu pasrah apabila berbicara tentang kematian…
Sedangkan ku dirundung bimbang mengingati saat itu...
takut akan siksa sakratul maut..
takut akan azab kubur ...
bimbang bagaimana keadaan ku nanti bila dibangkitkan di Padang Masyhar…

Amalan ku terlalu sedikit, tidak mungkin dapat menyelamatkan ku, jika ditimbang dengan beratnya dosa-dosa ku…
hanya rahmat Mu sahaja ya Allah yang dapat menyelamatkan ku...
Ku berdoa semoga bila tiba saat itu, pergi ku di dalam redhaMu...
Begitu jua dengan dirinya, bimbinglah dia kembali padaMu,
semoga dirinya juga dikurniakan husnul khotimah bila tiba saat itu…

Ku menyayanginya, semoga kasih kami dirahmati dan diredhaiMu...
Ampunilah dosa-dosa dan kesilapan kami…

2008-06-12T17:58:00.003+08:00

ku mohon agar tidak dihanyutkan dalam kelalaian....

ku mohon agar diizinkan merasai kehadiranMu selalu ...

ku mohon dipermudahkan ku mentaati perintahMu dan menjauhi laranganMu

ku mohon dilindungi dari segala yg menjauhkan ku dari Mu...

ku ingin hampir pada Mu...ku malu dgn keinginan ku ini kerana ku tidak layak...

namun... ku tetap berharap padaMu...

Bimbinglah diri ku ke pangkuan redhaMu...

2008-06-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

Taken from this evening multiply's entry: - From Him we came, to Him we shall return.

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun. Pertemuan awal bulan lalu di cgh was to be pertemuan yg terakhir...

To our fellow brother and multiplier Ashraf bin Abdul Kader (bendahara.multiply.com) who passed on this morning after a long battle with sickness, semoga roh mu tenang di alam barzakh. Amin.

2008-06-05T11:15:00.001+08:00

This few days I have been writing often. Its been a rather quiet and free week with most of the staff either on medical leave or on annual leave. *sebab tu naik lemak ke???*
Somehow it feels nice to be writing again, I hope it would help express myself better. Many a times, I find it hard to express my thoughts verbally. I want to say A but end up say W. Then later I wonder why I said that? I’m thankful that my job doesn’t involve much talking *relieved look* hehe.

Being full time working muslim women has its challenges. You gotta be careful of your interaction with the opposite sex. Gotta curb the tongue and ears from getting involved in the juicy gossips as much as possible. Curb the eyes from ‘seeing’ too much of aib dan keburukan orang coz it might make us feel tinggi diri and blind to our own more serious flaws. Nauzubillah. It ain’t easy at times. But fearing the consequences does help in some ways to control the whims of the nafs and brush off the evil whispers?

Ok my next goal hopefully is to be able to write in a more proper language, not rojak of English, Malay, Singlish, bahasa pasar etc. Achievable? Yes? No? I oso dunno actually. Lol. See how it goes lah…hehe.

Have a blessed Thursday :o)

2008-06-04T14:58:00.000+08:00

We had our fire drill exercise earlier. Almost everyone was strolling lenggang kangkong out of the building. Its quite hard to act panicky when we KNOW its a just a drill. one kolig of ours tried to feign panicky behaviour and it only tickled us..hehe. macam mana those uniform groups put on serious faces during their drill? if i were to ask to play the role of the injured one, i wonder if i can be serious abt it or end up feeling ticklish as i'm being bandaged or put on a stretcher. hmmm... As we all stood on the grass patch waiting for the next order from the "fire wardens", i dunno how many times i yawned. Thanks to the heavy breakfast from burger king this morning. hehe. i think it might keep me full thru lunch :o)

Its gonna be another long day today. i have mengaji lessons tonite. Hoping to complete the last few pages of Qiraati very soon, insya Allah. I can't wait to move to Quran. However, currently am having problem with controlling of pernafasan. i tend to pause often or nafas tak sampai when reading long ayats or those with longer harakats, then i end up pausing inappropriately. I try not to let myself be demoralised by it though. Although at times when i start to read in front of ustazah, i felt conscious abt it then end up short ayat pun nafas terbantut. hehe. walhal kat rumah baca ok. Ustazah would remind me to relax, jgn kelam kabut when she sense i'm getting a bit kancheong. lol.

Its amazing how we can read long sentences of a book so smoothly, but when its comes to kalam (did i spell it rite?) Allah, its not as easy as that... ustazah reminded to make doa, for Allah to give us a heart that loves the Quran. I may not be able to read it well yet, but i believe in the miracles of the Quran (Allah's words). I recalled when i had high fever from chicken pox few months ago which didn't subside with panadols. And i started to feel "floaty" not really myself and thoughts of death started playing on my mind. I lie in bed feeling terrible and plug in the digital quran to my ears and try to shut off my mind from other thoughts. i randomly pick a surah to listen, i could not remember which surah is it now but i remember the surah mentioned something like rugi lah org2 yg solat tapi lalai dalam solatnya.... tears just rolled coz i felt it hit me right in the face. and as the tears rolled, i felt my fever slowly subsiding and i dozed off soon after.... and by next morning, i only had very slight fever which eventually become no more fever. no more panadols needed after that. Subhanallah.

2008-06-03T13:50:00.001+08:00

I reached Simei mrt around 7pm yesterday which was slightly earlier than the usual time. Met the husband there who had already bought for us dinner :D. I then bought 2 cups of bubble tea for us and we started walking home for Maghrib prayers.

As we were walking home together, it felt like those dark phase of our marriage just seem very distant now. Once a upon a time it was just so crazy and everything looked hopeless. My legs would get weak and wobbly a few times then trying to swallow and face everything that was happening one after another, and I wondered if I was going to collapse and die from it all one day. It was just too much for me. But Allah guided me back to Him just when I felt I could take it no more and I felt something within that I have never felt before in my whole life that made me cry like a baby that fateful nite. Allahu Akhbar. And since then little miracles have happened. And is still happening. As for our marriage journey, its feels more special now than during the early pengantin baru period. The ups and downs do happen just like in any marriages, but its much more cope-able and easier to manage now. Alhamdulillah. They say “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger?”

I hope for a life and marriage blessed by Allah. Amin.

“Wahai Tuhan kami. Janganlah Engkau memesongkan hati kami sesudah Engkau beri petunjuk kepada kami dan kurniakanlah kepada kami rahmat dari sisiMu, kerana Engkaulah Maha Pemberi.” – (Ali-Imran: 8)
===========================

On another note, as soon as we reach our doorstep yesterday, takde angin takde rebut, the cup of bubble tea just slipped off my hand. Lebih menyedihkan when I pick it up again, realized the cup had already bocor, thus it was raining bubble tea and pearls right in front of our door. Lol. Ketawa sampai sakit perut. Terpaksa kutip balik pearls2 yg berterabuh depan pintu and then simbah dengan air to avoid ants. Hope my clumsiness lessens as times goes by…

2008-06-02T18:10:00.001+08:00

Pejam celik its already June. Half a year has passed by. Now that I mentioned June, I suddenly got reminded of FIL who is the only one in the family who calls me Jun..hehehe. Its been about a year now since FIL remarried. And next month will be 4 years since the passing of late MIL. But the fond memories remains….ok better change topic before emotions get over me…

Just few more minits more to go before official time to balik kampung. And welcome to sardine packed trains too. Hehe. East bound trains are always sooo crowded, most of the time. ~~maybe they should add few more extra carriages to make the train longer to accomodate more passengers or maybe come up with double decker trains??~~

better stop for now before end up with more nonsense...hehe...tataaaaa....

2008-05-26T19:05:00.001+08:00

Its been a rather blissful and smooth Monday. Alhamdulillah. The small little things that are actually big blessings indeed.

Hearing the sounds of birds chirping in the morning as you get ready to start your day, the feel of cool breeze when u look out the window and the tranquility that overcomes you that moment....ahhh...is priceless. The biggest blessings and joys in life are indeed priceless...

2008-05-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

Finally i know the meaning of my antique sounding name...the name which someone thot i was a 'makcik' before she met me..heeehe. It means "Hari Jumaat". :D I wonder if the reason arwah tok gave me this name coz i was born on a Friday. When i was a little girl, i sometimes envy both my younger sisters name which i thought sounded more beautiful and modern than mine. nonsence rite? hehehe.

2008-05-06T19:05:00.002+08:00

I'm at my spiritual low very often lately. i can feel it. when i'm at classes, at masjid or at mengaji lessons, it feel much better. at times so good that i thought maybe i'm climbing out of the "spiritual low" phase for good, but come few days later, it goes downhill again.

I dunno how long this phase will continue... but i guess i just have to hang on....

2008-05-06T12:20:00.001+08:00

Just a short entry...

Dad turns 51 today. not really that young age, but considering he has a 30 yr old doter, now that makes him still young rite? hehe...

Reflecting back the relationship i had with dad, i'm filled with mixed emotions.....tak terluah isi hati ku ini...heeehee...

Mummy's birthday coming up this mth too... Both parents are May babies! but i would say both mom and dad are quite opposite in character.... but they say opposites attract rite =)

Love them both....

2008-04-29T18:55:00.003+08:00

I feel like...urggghh on days when i'm distracted with much of worldly matters... That should be the last thing on my mind. Coz i have a lot to catch up on in terms of un-worldly matters. A LOT!! and time and days are just ticking away, not stopping to wait for anyone of us.... i just wish i could wake up!! not kejap bangun, kejap terleka lagi...aduhhhhh... sigh..

I miss that feeling of fear within... not fear towards "benda2"tu..hehe..but...the kind of fear that will help guide towards being a Takwa person...

2008-04-28T18:20:00.000+08:00

Hati ku gumbira kerna dalam masa beberapa menit lagi, can go home!! i can't believe i'm having monday blues. keje sumer jadi slow motion, terbengkalai....sigh. mudahan2 tomorrow better day, insya Allah.

so mendak i am abt going to work pagi ni that i didn't even realise that i forgot to wear ring. until the husband koling and sindir, wah today u single ah?? cincin tertinggal kat rumah. and i didn't even notice it missing from the finger :-o

on another note, the soul is hungry for more "n0urishment"... miss being in masjid. need to buck up on time management. masa tu emas kan. ~~kalau tak reti mengawal masa gak mintak tips dari ikan emas (goldpish)~~

*poof*

2008-04-18T12:01:00.002+08:00

I love Fridays... =) a day of many blessings, one of which is:

Nabi s.a.w. bersabda;"Tiada seorang Muslim yang mati pada hari atau malam Jumaat melainkan Allah akan menyelamatkannya dari ujian kubur.” - Riwayat Ahmad & Attirmidzi

It always reminds of me of arwah nenek who passed away on a Friday afternoon 20 years ago.

Errm...now that there's a kompiter at home, i'm feeling a bit guilty updating blog at work..hmm, ok ok lets keep it short :p till next time....

2008-04-06T18:50:00.000+08:00

Dated 6 Sept 07: "juz when you think you dah boleh managed, He tests you again just to see if you pass the test or you're gonna have a relapse again.....zai and I call it QC....Quality Check! you will have a few relapse and go thru a few rounds of turning to Him only, but each round will be easier and you will be able to face it better insya Allah...."

==========================

how true is the above. Just when u feel like u r progressing, then u find urself faltering again and iman takes a deep plunge. Insya Allah, its just a phase...

Dated 16 July 07 : "biasalah manusia didunia ni beraneka ragam. tapi kalo kita pandang sebaliknya, kita tahu smua adalah lakunan yg telah ditetapkan, termasuk kita juga. so lihat ajelah & bersabar."

==========================

Soothing pearls from the Quran:

"...And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seeing" (Al-Furqan: 20)

"Any blessing you have is from Allah. Then when harm touches you, it is to Him you cry for help." (An-Nahl: 53)

"Know that the life of this world is only play and amusement, pomp and mutual boasting among you, and rivalry in respect of wealth and children. (It is) like a rain (Ghayth), thereof the growth is pleasing to the tiller; afterwards it dries up and you see it turning yellow; then it becomes straw. But in the Hereafter (there is) a severe torment, and (there is) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure. And the life of this world is only a deceiving enjoyment." [Al Hadid: 20]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2008-04-05T13:00:00.001+08:00

I was on 4 days leave since tuesday. ntah apa angin rasa cam nak take a break from work lah gitu. and since there are no upcoming meeting or visits at the moment, i decided to grab the chance whilst stocks last??? and today is the first time dalam sejarah that i'm updating blog from home..bestnyer tak yah risau kalau boss suddenly muncul kat sebelah. heeeee... Alhamdulillah kompiter dah mendarat ngan selamatnyer di rumahku syurgaku hari khamis lepas...

Time seems to fly when on leave. And its saturday oredi today. The husband is on morning shift today. After seeing him off to work, went back to zzz. letih sket semalam tido nearly 2 pagi. last nite wasn't that good for both of us. but tak mo pikir2 lagi. semalam sudah pun berlalu bersama segala isinya... teringat syarahan semalam, tak sesuatu pun yg dijadikan Allah dgn sia-sia. apa pun berlaku, think positive. easier said than done at times, but still hati ni berkobar2 to be a more positip person. Insya Allah.

Tgh syok update blog, kedengaran suara org jerit kat luar "telecom"..aiks! cepat nah datang, suppose to come 2-4 pm tapi kul 11.30 dia dah muncul. kelam kabut jap dibuatnya, sarung baju panjang and tudung, simpan baju2 yg masih tersidai kat bilik etc. macam nak pingsan bila dia cakap barang2 dalam store nak kena keluarkan as well in order to do the drilling/wiring. just cleared the store, sib baik no heavy items. heheh. chappee has froze himself beside the small gap at the dressing table. chichi girl a bit more brave, sitting on the bed sambil memerhatikan apa org tu buat.. - my faithful bodyguard..kakakah. just carried her onto my lap. so huggable. vet kata her weight dah bleh maintain..coz for female cat normal weight range is 4-5kg and she's now 5.26kg. macam beras 5kilo. lenguh tangan kalau dukung lama2...

wokay till next update....adios...

2008-03-27T12:05:00.000+08:00

2 nites ago, the husband was on niteshift, i was at mom's place. it was close to midnite, when i went to the kitchen to take a glass of water and happen to glance outside the window...and..guess what caught my eyes??? jeng jeng jeng..

the beautiful sight of the full moon!! quickly went to the room for a better view and took out my outdated-but-faithful-and-banyak-kali-jatuh-terhempas-but-still-working nokia 6230i, switch on the night mode and snapped pics the moon :o)

2008-03-25T17:05:00.002+08:00

Surprise!!! hehe..i'm surprised too that suddenly i feel like blogging here today instead of multiply.

the last time update, was about to pindah rumah in a few days time... now lagi 3 bulan dah genap setahun pun sejak pindah. time flies in our new home, maybe coz i'm no longer counting the years and months like in our previous home as to when bleh jual rumah.. heeheeh.

we love the new home, even tho its still quite togel here and there. tak apa lah pelan2... syukur ngan apa yg ada. but something i've been wanting for a loooong time may be materialising soon - having a kompiter with internet connection at home. Insya Allah by this weekend, kompiter should be arriving. Alhamdulillah. good bargain coz the computer is freeeee!! cuma bayar monthly internet bill which is at a fixed rate.

Whenever i reflect back my life journey, especially the past 2 years, it could bring me to tears easily. I dunno how to describe it in exact words, but i'm just thankful to Allah for the hidayah. although there is still much "kerja2 pemulihan" to be done within. and much to catch up on.

Some iman-boosting & motivational sms msgs to share:

"Pegang teguh dgn ilmu tauhid i.e semua berlaku dgn kehendakNya, baik buruk dtg drNya. Ada yg kita tahu sebab2nya, ada yg kita tak tahu. Yakin & serah segala urusan pd Allah."

"....doakan terus menerus tanpa ada soalan kenapa......"

i love the last line a lot. its a good reminder.

2007-06-05T16:26:00.000+08:00

I thought i won't be updating here again after being "active" at multiply recently. but i was wrong. rindu pulak this old dusty blog of mine. somehow it feels more private here..ntah lah tak tahu kenapa rasa cam tu. maybe nari emo mood kot?

In a few day's time..Insya allah, we will be moving in to our new home. finally, the long wait has been reduced to just a few more days. And i'm having mixed feelings abt it. I remember when our previous owner handed over d keys to us back then, she too was feeling sentimental abt it and gave a longing look at the house and said "ni lah rumah makan tak makan kita".

It has been the same for us, this place has kept lots of memories for us. both the good, the not so good and the unbelievable..hehe..but everything happens for a reason. The laughter, the tears we shared here will always be remembered, it is afterall our first marital home where we learned erti dan liku2 hidup rumahtangga. cedebahhh..da macam buku cerita pulak *hmmm, ada ke buku cerita yg tulis cerita bahasa rojak cam ni?*

And not forgetting this is also the home where little Chappee grew up into a hengsem boy.

Chichi joined us 3 years later..and she too now has grown into an adorable kitty with hardly no temper at all :o)

Till next time...saja nak lepaskan rindu...kuikuikui

2007-04-19T12:05:00.000+08:00

I feel unhappy with myself. ...been slacking again!!! :o( plan nak buat tis and that, nak improve on tis and tat...but.... most of the things either i've yet to do or not consistent in doing it. Gosh. tak leh terus cam ni ...tak bolehhhhhhh!!! :o(

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:o(

2007-03-03T18:45:00.000+08:00

Its has been only abt 10mths since those "dark moments"
passed. But it seems very distant...like it happened a very
long time ago. Sometimes it all seems like a dream, but no,
it all happened for real, . It taught me how keadaan boleh
berubah sekelip mata for the better or worse if HE wishes
so. and its HE too that could improve a hopeless looking
situation.

18 Feb 07 - Our marriage turned 5 yrs old. Alhamdulillah.
It has been a learning journey, with still much to
learn. Altho there's still no bun in the oven yet *betul tak
pepatah ni?*, i guess Allah knows Best. Ada hikmah
disebaliknya. I read a quote that Allah's delay is not
Allah's denial. Subhanallah. Not forgetting recently a sister
who said that she heard di kuliah that bahawasanya jika
didunia ini kita tiada anak atau suami nanti di syurga kita
akan ditemui suami atau anak...amin. with all that said,
i'm feeling redha about it. just usaha dan tawakkal je.

25 Feb 07 - Congrats to my long time buddy, Kavitha
on her traditional wedding with her beloved
hubby, Kumar.

Their wedding reception is at 5pm today...but here i am still

in the office (along with the other staff, full-force) on a

Saturday having to work full day coz of the "meeting busat".

And now for some lovey dovey pics...of our 2 cutie

furballs. this is how they sleep most of the time

head to head. alalalalah

Chichi licking Chapee's face tenderly...awww

ok, till another time... need to get back to work already :o/

2007-02-13T18:28:00.000+08:00

Something to ponder...a good reminder to self :o/

The World is three days:

As for yesterday, it has vanished,
along with all that was in it.

As for tomorrow, you may never see it.

As for today, it is yours, so work in it.

- [Hassan al-Basri]

2007-02-01T14:42:00.000+08:00

So i only had 1 entry in jan. Hopefully this won't be my one
and only entry for feb too :p The reason i'm blogging now
despite being loaded with work..is..i just need a break.
*ok excuses excuses* actually i just miss updating my blog.
and i'm so bingit with the never ending stuff that keeps
coming in at work the past 3 days..so now i want to 'mogok'
and not do any work (for a while je lah:p). on top of that
my half day's leave today couldn't be approved so i couldn't
visit mommy in hospital this noon, and have to wait till
evening. itu pon kalau dapat balik on time. kalau tak boleh?
kalau tak boleh, wait i humban all this files ah..dun play play
ah. kakakah.

Ok see how if got time later, i update again...nak copycat
iNa (update in parts) :p hihihi

2007-01-08T18:52:00.000+08:00

Its gonna be a long day for me today...so pls Miss Goldie,
dun let me down. kakakah. i know u've been subjected
to more torture than u can handle sometimes. but u also
know i love u that much, which is why regardless of ur
condition now, i still chose u despite d other backache-
inducing ~~hell~~ heels. so pls tahan a bit k..dun give up on
me tonite. there's quite a bit of ~~running~~
~~cum jalan kartun~~ walking to do tonite..so i need
ur good support k...
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2007-01-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

Reading golden words like these is really therapeutic..

Mutiara Kata Ibnu Qayyum

Di dalam hati manusia ada kekusutan dan tidak akan terurai kecuali menerima kehendak Allah swt.

Di dalam hati manusia ada keganasan dan tidak akan hilang kecuali berjinak dengan dengan Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kesedihan dan tidak akan hilang kecuali seronok mengenali Allah swt

Di dalam hati manusia ada kegelisahan dan tidak akan tenang damai kecuali berlindung, ertemu dan berjumpa denganNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada penyesalan dan tidak akan padam kecuali redha dengan suruhan dan laranganNya serta qadha dan qadarNya serta kesenantiasaan sabar sehingga menemuiNya

Di dalam hati manusia ada hajat dan tidak akan terbendung kecuali kecintaan kepadaNya dan bermohon kepadaNya.
==============================================================

Weekend is here again...but i'm actually looking foward to Monday nite. Semoga dipermudahkanNYA to learn and catch up on what's necessary. Its just the beginning...Insya Allah, more to learn.

=============================================================

Tis morning i was a little upset (again) abt........ (biarlah Rahsia :p) But i know all these tests from HIM has a reason and there is no need to get too stressed with ujian dunia coz it won't last... I read somewhere that sebahagian manusia dijadikan sebagai ujian utk sebahagian yg lain so ..... sotong of me to let myself get affected (for the umpteenth time)!!. argggghhhh!!! Nevertheless, i'm glad these things doesn't affect me as badly as it used to in the past. Syukur Alhamdulillah. Now i'm feeling all smiley again. Just hv to hang on and have FAITH when it those testing situation..
*note to self: jgn cakap je, BUAT!!*

2006-12-29T14:39:00.000+08:00

Opis is rather sonyap today, manyak org cuti nari. So even tho i'm at work, i'm in the "cuti mood" already. .... wanna update longer but...tak tahu apa yg nak diupdatekan.

Till my next entry next year :P, Salam Eidul Adha and enjoy the long holidays.

P.S. i love the comforting tafseer in this poster above.

2006-12-27T15:33:00.000+08:00

warning: melancholic entry ahead.

There's much to say but the words just don't come out right. hehehe. So i'm just gonna summarise it into something short and sweet. Thank you ALLAH. For the test and tribulations. For the contentment. For giving me HOPE again when at one point of time i felt life was getting meaningless.

There i said it. And it took me a long time just to type this short para out. Lol. so mengarut seh. kakakah.

2006-12-13T16:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a day that civil/gahmen servants had been looking foward to. :D Alhamdulilah. but i wonder why are we called civil servant? who came up it eh? cakap cepat. private sector takde pon called their workers private servants? kakakah. now that sounds crude.

As usual i was bloghopping today, and i came across an enlightening entry from a blog that i've been silently reading for quite a while, and another one from sis Muna that i need to read over and over again, slowly word for word. Made me ponder n reflect upon myself... :o( So much "repairing and amending" that yet has to be done.

Anyhow, i found this inspirational quote from tis webbie: http://www.ezsoftech.com/stories

The Road to Success is not straight:

There is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, caution lights called family, and you will have flats called jobs.

But, if you have a spare called determination, an engine called perseverance, insurance called faith, and a driver called God, you will make it to a place called success!

Not forgetting this 2 cutie pies who have been with us thru our ups and downs, witnessed our good and bad moments, somewhat understands when we are feeling happy, down, stressed etc. Ciptaan Allah yg sangat cerdik.

Chichi (my latest merepek term of endearment for her) getting amused with the word "DVD" tat was bouncing up and down the tv screen while Chappee walks on un-amused.

Still glued to the tv, maybe waiting for the word to "drop" off the tv so that she can pounce on it? lol

2006-12-07T16:48:00.000+08:00

Another good read that i stumbled upon utk dikongsi sama...
============================================================

Kebahagiaan memiliki tanda-tanda, sebagaimana disebutkan oleh Imam Ibnul Qayyim rahimahullah. Beliau menyebutkan tiga perkara iaitu:

1. Jika mendapat nikmat, dia bersyukur.
2. Jika mendapat ujian, dia bersabar.
3. Jika berbuat dosa, dia beristighfar.

Untuk Mendapat Bahagia

Untuk mencapai kebahagiaan dan kejayaan adalah sebagai berikut, perhatikan perkara berikut:
1. Beriman Kepada Allah s.w.t.

Tidak ada kebahagiaan tanpa iman kepada Allah s.w.t. Kebahagiaan itu akan bertambah seiring dengan bertambahnya iman seseorang kepada Allah s.w.t., dan akan berkurang bersama dengan lemahnya iman kepada-Nya. Apabila iman semakin teguh maka makin memuncak pula kebahagiaannya. Sebaliknya jika iman menjadi lemah, maka jiwanya menjadi goncang dan fikirannya menjadi semakin negatif. Dia akan berasa kehidupan ini amat pahit dan dia akhirnya ditimpa kebinasaan dalam hidupnya.

2. Beriman kepada Kekuasaan Allah s.w.t.

Orang yang beriman bahwa Allah s.w.t. adalah yang Maha Kuasa, tanpa had, maka dia tidak akan dirundung duka. Dia tidak akan disapa kesedihan kerana dia mempunyai tempat bersandar yang kuat ketika ditimpa ujian dan kesulitan.

3. Beriman dengan Ketetapan Allah s.w.t

Iman dengan qadha' dan qadar akan menumbuhkan sikap redha dalam hati, kelapangan jiwa dan ketenangan. Oleh kerana itu Nabi s.a.w bersabda,
"Sungguh menakjubkan urusan seorang mukmin, sesungguhnya seluruh urusannya adalah baik. Jika diberi nikmat maka dia bersyukur dan itu adalah baik baginya. Dan jika ditimpa kesempitan, maka dia bersabar dan itu pun baik baginya.” (HR Muslim)

4. Mencontohi Orang yang Berjaya

Yang dimaksudkan di sini adalah orang yang telah menaburkan jasa yang besar dan luar biasa kepada umat manusia dan dia adalah orang yang beriman kepada Allah s.w.t . Yang pertama dan utama adalah ikutan kita Rasulullah Muhammad s.a.w Dengan mengikuti jalannya, maka seseorang akan bahagia dan dengan meninggalkan petunjuk dan sunnahnya, maka seseorang akan celaka.

5. Mengenali Hakikat Kehidupan

Hidup pasti akan berhadapan dengan masalah dan kesusahan dan pasti ada rintangan dan ujian. Semua ini merupakan ketetapan dari Allah s.w.t. terhadap manusia, supaya diketahui siapakah yang lebih baik amalnya. Maka wajib bagi kita untuk mengenal hakikat hidup ini dan menerima sebagaimana sepatutnya dan tidak melarikan diri untuk menghadapi ketentuan Allah dengan ketentuan lainnya, menghadapi yang tidak kita senangi dengan sesuatu yang dapat menghilangkannya. Mengetahui permasalahan ini bukan bererti menyerah kalah dan putus asa, malah bersikap sebaliknya.

6. Mengubah Kebiasaan Negatif Kepada Positif

Doktor Ahmad Al-Bara' Al-Amiri mengatakan bahawa memulai kebiasaan baru yang bersifat aqliyah (mampu digarap dan dipikirkan) itu tidaklah sukar , diperlukan hanya sekitar 21 hari. Dalam hari-hari tersebut kita berfikir, bermuzakarah, lalu berusaha untuk mewujudkan kebiasaan baru itu, dan yang paling akhir kita bayangkan dengan jelas dan sempurna bahwa diri kita telah menjadi seperti apa yang kita inginkan.

Jika kita berfikir bahwa kita telah menjadi orang baru sebagaimana yang kita kehendaki, maka gambaran ini secara perlahan-lahan dan berperingkat akan menjadi suatu realiti. Hal ini seperti diungkapkan bahwa "al hilm bittahallum wal ilm bitta'allum" sikap lembut dicapai dengan selalu berusaha lembut dan ilmu itu diraih dengan belajar. (Durus nafsiyah linnajah wattafawwuq)

7. Tujuan Yang Mulia

Ramai orang yang gagal kerana dia tidak mempunyai objektif dan tujuan tertentu untuk dicapai. Ataupun mungkin dia mempunyai satu tujuan tetapi tujuannya bukan sesuatu yang mulia dan tinggi menyebabkan ia tidak merasa bahagia tatkala berusaha mendapatkannya. Sedangkan tujuan yang mulia akan menjadikan seseorang merasa bahagia ketika sedang berusaha untuk mencapainya.

8. Ringankan Derita

Orang hidup pasti mengalami musibah dan derita, namun tidak sepatutnya musibah itu dianggap sebagai titik noktah kepada segalanya, dan jangan beranggapan bahwa hanya dirinya seorang yang mendapat ujian hidup. Bahkan sepatutntya dia merasa ringan dengan musibah dan tidak terlalu membesar-besarkannya.

9. Jangan Membuatkan Kita Resah Disebabkan Perkara-Perkara Kecil.

Ada sebahagian manusia merasa resah dan kalut dengan kejadian-kejadian biasa dan lumrah dalam kehidupan seharian. Di antara mereka ada yang begitu sedih dengan pecahnya piring atau gelas, saluran air atau kabel yang terputus, baju yang koyak dan lain-lain yang sebenarnya perkara biasa sahaja.

10. Kebahagiaan Ada Pada Diri Anda

Jika bahagia itu ada pada diri kita, maka mengapa mesti mencarinya di tempat yang jauh. Setiap manusia mempunyai kekuatan dan potensi untuk bahagia, tetapi kebanyakan mereka tidak mahu melihatnya. Sebabnya adalah kerana dia tidak pernah memperhatikan diri sendiri, tetapi sibuk melihat orang lain.

Kebahagiaan itu kadang-kadang ada di depan mata, tetapi kita tidak mengetahuinya, sehingga terpaksa mencarinya dari tempat yang jauh dan semakin jauh. (Khalif Muttaqin)

Diadaptasi dari terjemahan dari buku: ‘Daliluka Ila As-Sa’adah An-Nafsiyah’, Dept. Ilmiyah Darul Wathan .

2006-12-01T15:43:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Keep updating blog halfway thru tapi tak sempat nak post d entry, in the end criter pon dah basi and i'll delete it gitu lah kisahnyer. sometimes there's quite a lot to write on but can't seem to put the thots into words.

Anyway alhamdulilah, mommy's knee surgery went smoothly yesterday and she has been discharge this noon and now recuperating at home. But dad has to be the joker of the day semalam, coz of him, my sis and me, and even mummy yg baru lepas surgery dgn kaki berbalut tu pon asyik tergelak je. these are some of the things he said yesterday:

i) dad has tis cute habit of mispronouncing certain words and we like to tease him abt it. eg. fly he will say "fry". so semalam, it was one of those things again..he was telling my mom "this one must go for "tehrofee". when i heard that word, i look at my sis, she was holding her laughter but we just can't help it and started laughing. fyi, wat he meant was "therapy". lol.

ii) mom's bed was located at the corner so she could see the view outside. but there were blinds covering over the glass panels. dad said he can wind up the blinds at nite so that mom can look at the clouds outside. lol. my mom just had tis amused look on her then look at us. all i could see when i look at the glass panels at nite were reflections of us,and in d condition that mom was in, i doubt she would be interested to look at the clouds outside (if any).

iii) dad ask mom if she brought the "cable wire". what he meant was the earphones. all of us tak bleh tahan ketawa.

iv) i switched on the radio on my hp softly, put it to Warna and put it on the desk near mom's bed. as the azan maghrib came on air, dad started looking around and ask if there's a mosque nearby. he didn't know the sound of azan was coming from the hp. alalalalalah...cute kan?

2006-11-24T17:20:00.000+08:00

Kinda in low morale now and then tis past week . Need to chill out manz. cedebahh. *speaking pulak*

Till then, have a relaxing n blessed weekend!! Actually i was thinking of putting up d furballs pix (again) can't help it lah, they r so cuddle-able *ada ke tis word dlm dictionary*..but i thot i'll save it for d other entries.

2006-11-14T12:27:00.000+08:00

a good one to read esp when we are feeling troubled/bogged down...

ALLAH Knows Best

ALLAH knows what is best for us
So why should we complain
We always want the sunshine
But He knows there must be rain.
We always want laughter
and the merriment of cheer
but our heart will lose their tenderness
If we never shed a tear.

ALLAH tests us often
with suffering and sorrow
He tests us not to punish us
but to help us meet tomorrow.
For growing trees are strenghtened
if they can withstand the storm
and the sharpness of the chisel
gave the marble its grace and form.

ALLAH tests us often
and for every pain
He gives us
provided we are patient
Is followed by rich gain
So whenever we feel that
everything is going wrong
It is just ALLAH'S way to make our spirit strong.

- Author Unknown

2006-11-13T16:59:00.000+08:00

Its monday again. And the thing that comes to my mind now is criter Dilema Wanita that is aired on tv1 every monday nite. hehehe. i so loved the short advice/speech made by Dato Fadzilah Kamsah at the end of each episode.

Anyway d plans made on my birthday, lain jadi nyer :p we plan to go out that nite (since it was raining during the day) but then husband's fren came over rather late for raya visiting and it was close to midnite when they left. nonetheless stil manage to have a simple and nice birthday at home, with d husband and my 2 furballs. i was more touched n moved by his sms/bday card than receiving the bday gift itself. bukannyer senang nak dapat kad lepas kawin ni. hihihi.

Arrgghh! i need to get back to work again. will update more when i have the time (and mood)

2006-11-10T15:43:00.000+08:00

Its been a hectic week at work, sampai blog pon tak ter-update .. hehe...so glad its Friday already. Really looking forward to the weekends, especially tomorrow. Coz besides it being payday, i will also be turning 29 tomorrow!! Alhamdulilah. One year older, and hopefully wiser too. kakakakah! On a serious note, this year has been like an "awakening" year for me, which made me look at problems and life as a whole from a different perspective. I just feel grateful to Allah for giving me the patience to cope during those very difficult moments.

Anyway here's some random and lame entries - lately i'm beginning to enjoy wearing long skirts more often to work than pants. i dunno why. during my pre-tudung days, i was very much into long pants. but now i'm beginning to love wearing skirts and dresses more. altho d long pants do come in practical and useful on some days. speaking of long dresses/jubahs, it ain't easy finding one that perfectly suits my height, the only and only jubah i have at home is a bit "tergantung" when i wear it. sigh.

I couldn't help but snap this picture of Chappee last nite, coz i was distracted by him sitting like that. hehehe. Hubby call tis the christmas tree pose. tengok betul2 kan macam shape pokok christmas tree ..kakakah.

This "anak dara" too has this occasional habit of "mengadap" in front of my face at times..kakakah. I think she's just as fond of me as much as i am so gerammm and fond of her too. Tis pic was snapped few weeks back while i was tgh lipat baju, she climbed onto the coffee table and sat in front of me and looked at me that adorable face. Awwww.

And this is her up to mischief again last nite, this time shredding tissue papers. terpaksa sembunyikan kotak tissue tu from her view after this, otherwise macam selamba gitu she will tarik the tissue out of the box piece by piece and then hv a good time shredding the tissue to small bits. i snap tis pic after giving her a "scolding" her semalam. look at the kesian face. alalalalah, tapi itu tangan still "holding on" to the tissue bits. nottie kan? hehehe

Before i end tis entry, just thot i share tis below, a good reminder for myself too :-/

"Abu Hurairah r.a menceritakan yang beliau mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda yang maksudnya:

Allah berfirman: “ Apabila Aku menguji hamba-Ku yang beriman kemudian dia tidak mengeluh kepada pengunjung-pengunjungnya maka Aku lepaskan dia dari belenggu-Ku dan Aku gantikan baginya daging dan darah yang lebih baik dari yang dahulu dan dia boleh memperbaharui amalnya sebab yang lalu telah diampuni semua”.

2006-10-23T11:52:00.000+08:00

Bulan Ramadhan yg penuh barakah ni bakal berlalu pergi, dan Syawal bakal menjelang tiba. Kepada semua teman2ku..Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, semoga berbahagia disamping keluarga tersayang. Mohon maaf jika ada tersalah silap, terkasar bahasa, termoody dan sewaktu dgnnyer. Maaf Zahir Batin.

==========

Tahun ni dah break record, tak turun geylang serai at all. Anyway so touching, baru dapat present and kad raya from one of my boss. Loved the prezzie so much, something very useful and practical - kain telekung. Just when i had been thinking of getting another set of telekung. Alhamdulilah.

Its gonna be a beezee day today after knocking off work (since i pushed most of the preps to the last minit). But ok lah since i'm in an upbeat mood today. Raya mood sudah mali...

2006-10-11T15:09:00.000+08:00

I'm back at work after being on course the past 2 days. Dah lama seh tak gi course cam ni. The course was quite informative altho cara penyampainyer sometimes made us mengantuk. And i thot the lecturer had a cute way of pronouncing d word organisation as "organi-shen" instead.

Anyhow i've not been feeling at my best tis few days :-/ Sigh. Just one of those days. Insya Allah it will pass... On top of that, i thot i was gonna fall sick yesterday when i started having mild sore throat, hidung pon perit2 and felt a little feverish. However, today it seems to have gone away. But lately feel like my patience is being tested quite a bit...

Ok lah enuff of my whinings. Dah lama tak post gambar2 furballs ni. Lets see wat they were up to. Snapped these pics on sunday while i was tgh lipat baju. Org nak lipat baju dia pon sama nak menyibok masok dalam bakul..so here she is after happily climbing into the empty bakul.

Soon it attracted Chappee's curiosity...

Still refusing to budge even after i turn the bakul sideways...

Then a little "scuffle" broke out between these 2 furballs..and look who's in the bakul now.

Chappee's turn to pose in the bakul...aiyoh pasal bakul pon mau gaduh kah?

2006-09-29T18:07:00.000+08:00

Its already the 6th day of Ramadhan..a month of many blessings....Slamat Berpuasa to all and hv a Blessed Ramadhan.

p.s. tried to upload an image, tapi tak menjadi, something wrong with blogger. takpe lah lain kali je. hehe.

2006-09-18T12:34:00.000+08:00

Today marks exactly 10 years since i started working here. my first ~~love~~ job tau awak. How time flies. Tak ku sangka pejam celik dah 10 tahun ku bertapa disini. So much changes has happened since, be it in my working life or personal life. Many memories telah tercipta ditempat ini. Kenangan manis, sedih, kelakar, kelakar seram,selenger...sumernyer ada. And here's one of my ultimate selenger moment that i can't forget and still tickles me whenever i think of it. It happened while i was covering duty for the PA to our big boss. here's wat happened. the phone rang and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Good morning/afternoon xxx office. *tak ingat ah pagi ke petang tat time..kakakah* .
Caller: Good morning, can i speak to Mr xxx pls?
Me: May i know whose that on the line, pls?
Caller: This is Heesan.
Me: Err..Sorry, whose tat again?
Caller: This is Heesan here.
Me: ok, hold on pls. *dalam hati terpikiak so far i've heard of Hassan tapi Heesan belum pernah dgr pulak*
Me: *transfering call to big boss* Mr xxx, Heesan would like to speak to u.
Big Boss: *sounding surprised* Who?
Me: Heesan.
Big Boss: Ok transfer the call.

Few minutes later, the big boss came out of his room and he told me eh apadah, tat was my son. Kakakakah! Heesan was actually = His Son. Imagine how selenger i felt at that moment. wakakaka.

2006-09-14T18:11:00.000+08:00

Ok so my short break from work is over. boo hoo hoo. :P back at work today, doing some mendak tasks and having an irritating on n off headache since morning. yikes. enuff of whining already.

Overall had an enjoyable n relaxing day yesterday with da hubby and 2 furballs :o) Alhamdulilah. Manage to run some errands as well. Had pizza for dinner. And a quick late nite trip to johor to top up petrol and get our cemilan2 before zooming back home.

=============================================================

Found this quote stored in my computer and thot its a good one to share:

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

2006-09-12T12:31:00.000+08:00

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow. Coz i'd be on leave!! A short break from work. Yippiness.

2006-09-05T15:50:00.000+08:00

Makin lama makin takde idea apa yg nak di-post kan in my blog. Apakah itu satu tanda2 that its time to "tutup kedai?" kekekeke.

I'm not in the best of moods today. Sebabnya? "Biarlah Rahsia". kakakah. Tgh tunggu time nak balik ni. i feel more energetic once i reached home. There's always something for me to do at home, tak pernah shortage of housework one. But i'm not complaining lah. Altho occasionally, i turn into a naggy woman when uneccessary chores appears and i'm super tired already.

Simple things makes me happy. Like enjoying a cup of bubble tea as i walk slowly home after alighting from the mrt station. *tak abis2 ngan bubble tea eh:p* Or being greeted by the 2 furballs at d door as soon as i get home. These 2 adorable furballs never fail to make Mommy (tats me lah..perasan kan) beam with joy. Altho occasionally when they get a little too degil or nottie, i have no choice but to serahkan to Papa (tats wat hubby bahasakan himself to d furballs) to "discipline" them. And Papa always make it seems like a breeze to discipline them. Just a single loud tengking of each their names, and both of them will stop their mischief/degil-ness immediately and run for cover. Simple as that. Whereas for me, they'll just buat dak je when i do the same...haizzz. in the end i feel silly pon ada. kakakah.

Anyhow, here's something i'd like to share, got tis via email some mths back, an article abt Faith...

A Mosque goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to Mosque. "I've gone for 30 years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like 3,000 Lectures. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the Imams are wasting theirs by giving Lectures at all."

This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column, much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone wrote this clincher.

In that time my mother has cooked some 32,000 meals. But for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this: They all nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work that I could grow. If my mother had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.

Likewise, if I had not gone to Mosque for nourishment, I would be spiritually dead today!"

Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible! Thank Allah for our physical AND our spiritual nourishment!

When you are DOWN to nothing.... Shaytaan is UP to something.
When Shaytaan is knocking at your door,
simply say, "Allah, could you Please get that for me? "

2006-08-31T15:23:00.000+08:00

Warning: lame entry ahead :p read at ur discretion.

I'm feeling cold now, my sweater and pants is still a little damp from being caught in the rain at lunchtime tadi. Begini criternyer, pagi tadi i brought an umbrella with me when i left for work. Hepi gitu for once i had an umbrella with me when it rained...hehehe. while i was walking out from the mrt station, i heard a familiar voice sapa-ing me. rupernyer its my irritating kolig..hehe. He asked "why u bring umbrella today".. apa nyer soalan ni. i replied "same reason as why u are bringing it lah". Didn't really catch wat he blabbered after that except heard him said something like.."....water was dripping down ur face...." oh ok i get it, he was making a joke of me AGAIN abt one particular morning when i came to work, soaking wet and tudung sumer dah penyek from the rain. it was just a short dash from the building beside my office so i thot basah sikit je but ter-underestimate the power of the heavy rain..basah kuyup by the time i reached office.

Back to this afternoon, history repeated itself..kakakakah! except this time i wasn't alone. Kavitha was with me. The weather looked fine when we met for lunch. So tak terfikir nak bawak payung. But by the time kita abis makan, cuaca dah gelap and it started drizzling. We thot we could make a quick dash back to the office, but alas! hujan turun dgn lebatnya as we're crossing the bridge along the river. So kita pun cuba berteduh on the super slim pillars of the bridge, which didn't really do much to protect us from the rain. And my bladder started giving me problem again..hehehe...nak terkucil urgently pulak. so terpaksa diri kepit kaki especially when both our mengong mood start setting in and we started laughing for no reason. somehow we find it ticklish to be stuck in the rain. makin ketawa2 makin menjadi2 rasa nak terkucil tu..hehehe. nak tak nak we then walk over to the front shelter of my workplace and luckily the police guard gave us a big umbrella. so i walked Kavitha over to her building before making my way back to the office again. but with rain pouring heavily both of us were somewhat still drenched. sampai je ofis balik, terus zoom to the loo. hehehe.

p.s. pls excuse me for the rojak language of my entries. can't be helped sometimes.

2006-08-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

Been wanting to update my blog, tapi asyik ter-postpone je :p Oh ya, our 1-day staff trip to Desaru is just 3 days away. Too bad hubby couldn't come along due to work commitments. Even tho its just for 1 day je, i feel a bit awkward actually going without him. Ntahlah. Sebelum kawin tu oklah, quite used to going for staff trips sendiri je. But tis is gonna be my 1st one since marriage. Tapi kan akward2 pon tetap nak pegi jugak. Abis mr. husband dah kasi green light to go, rezeki jgn ditolak, musuh jgn dicari..hehe..sekali2 tukar angin. Cedebah.

Looking at Siti's wedding pics, i feel like putting on inai again. Just for fun aje to add some colour to my colourless fingers. The last time i applied inai just for suka2 was 2 yrs back, mommy had bought those serbuk inai from geylang serai then. But somehow can't help it lah, bila dah pakai inai, sedikit sebanyak, macam ada jugak lah sipi2 gitu terfeeling2 dan terperasan macam pengantin basi pulak. Am i d only one who feel this way?

2006-08-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

Before i forget, ingin mengambil kesempatan ini utk mengucapkan happy belated birthday to singapura ku. This year i didn't watch the parade or fireworks at all, so much for patrioticism Entah lah takde mood nak tengok. bleh gitu? but nevertheless, i'm grateful to be born and raised in this tiny but peaceful and efficient country. cedebahhh!

when i'm in the office, sometimes i have this urge to munch and munch in front of the kompiter...tak tahu kenapa seh. either boredeom or too much nervous energy in me perhaps? but it feels so heavenly bila surf net or read emails while munching on something. and kebetulan i just finished 5 pakets of cream crackers dipped in air teh..there's 3 pieces of biscuits in each paket so tats a total of 15 pieces i just swallowed. Alhamdulilah...dah kenyang.
i'm having some tough days tis few days. but i dun wanna blog abt that....Hanya mampu berserah...Coincidentally just after i type this, my hp rang, much awaited call from Kak F :o)

2006-08-08T11:16:00.000+08:00

This poem can be found hanging on my kitchen wall .. its not easy to apply everything that is said in here to our daily life...but since its one my favourite, here it is for all to read ;o)

The Final Analysis

People are often unreasonable, illogical,and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

2006-08-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

A short entry today...

We had our annual staff national day lunch today. Food was good! i think i finished up my food quite fast (pasal dah ~~gelojoh~~ lapar sangat). the udang looks tempting too but i had to give it a miss coz tak reti nak makan udang ngan sudu n garfu. plus i'm quite comot when eating such food, buat malu kompeni je nanti. btw i feel like my appetite has been good lately, but yet i'm not gaining back those few kilos i lost recently..where did all those food goes to then har? hmm... but on the other hand, i feel "heavy" when d husband decided to 'show off' his strength by lifting me up semalam and then afterwards said its either he's getting old or i'm getting heavier. haizz..mana mungkin sich? *denial mode pulak* kakakah.

2006-08-02T16:42:00.000+08:00

Altho tis is an old song, i never knew it existed till i hear someone sang it...and it struck a chord in me...yach i'm a bit on the emo side :p hati kecil ini mudah tersentuh.. Since mommy is also a fan of Jamal Abdillah, i asked her if she's heard of this song before, and it seems like its one of her favourite songs!! Sedih seh bila menghayati lagu ni, especially the 2nd last and also the last para..waduhhh..sayu sekali mendengarnya..a good reminder for myself that altho its inevitable to feel angry or upset when someone do us wrong, jgn sampai mencemuh coz belum tahu mungkin diri kita ini lebih hina lagi :-/

pls pardon my melancholic mood now... was a little upset abt something that happened at work earlier,..sigh...hope i'll feel better soon...

Mati Hidup Semula

Tak sudi memandang tidak mengapa
Kerana ku mengerti aku insan hina
Tapi dengar apaku katakan
Untuk pedoman di hari muka

Dulu hidupku rasakan mati
Mata terbuka tapi tak berhati
Kiniku rasa dihidupkan kembali
Walaupun peritnya setengah mati

( korus )Baru kukenal bulan dan bintang
Betapa indah dunia dipandang
Baru kukenal ayah ibu adik abang
Kerana dulu fikiran melayang

Jalan nak ku lalu masih panjang
Akanku tempuh hari mendatang
Kepadaku berilah peransang
Agar kejayaan dapatku julang

Manusia sepertiku usah kau hina
Kelak menambah sakit didada
Selagi aku bernama manusia
Tak lepas dari salah dan dosa

Salahku lakukan meruntuhkan nama
Kerana perbuatan mengikut rasa
Namunku bersyukur pada yang Esa
Setelah matiku hidup semula